Frost

Chapter 86

Sibirien

It was a strange feeling to freeze. The whole skin was covered with goose bumps and the feeling that even the internal organs were shivering left one with a feeling of unease. You stopped feeling your toes and tried to keep yourself warm with your own body heat. Ivy's cheeks were red and her lips trembled slightly as she stomped through the thick snow. She hugged her upper body to somehow keep herself warm, but it didn't help one bit. This was what it felt like to be a normal person. One was not immune to the cold, but had the honor of feeling something like warmth in return.

Ivy felt warmth as Bucky's hand took hers in his and rubbed it with both hands before he did the same with her other. She felt the coldness of his metal arm, but said nothing. The warmth of his action was all that mattered to her. The three of them reached the old Hydra bunker, its doors wide open. A cold shiver ran down Ivy's spine as she stood in front of the abandoned entrance. Her powers had always given her strength and sometimes let her be ruthless with her live, but now without them she felt vulnerable. A part of her was missing and Ivy hated that she wished she had it back.

"He can't have been here more than a few hours" Steve said, trying to soften the situation with his words. Hours didn't seem like much, but Ivy knew what could be accomplished in a few hours. It it a mistake to underestimate time. A second misjudged, time smacks you in the face. "Long enough to wake them up" Bucky muttered as he looked at the entrance with daring eyes. It would have to be hard to return to a place where so much pain was inflicted upon you. Ivy knew the feeling; your feet felt heavy, your was heart racing way too fast, hands were covered in cold sweat and the voices in your head were way too loud.

Still, Bucky managed to put one foot after another into the bunker. Steve led the way while Ivy and Bucky followed behind. Bucky held his machine gun with one hand, while his other hand, gripped Ivy's tightly. Ivy returned his firm grip and held one of her knives in her free hand. Both her knife and Bucky's hand made her feel a little safer. The lights flickered and Ivy tried not to think about what would happen if they went out.

As Steve led them to a small and narrow elevator, Ivy's feet stopped as if anchored to the floor and her heart began to beat faster. Her hands began to sweat and the voices in her head grew louder, she heard herself screaming. She heard herself screaming for help while she was trapped in her dark cage with no way to escape. She heard herself crying while she wished someone would finally kill her and release her from her torture. She felt like the scared, helpless and broken woman again. Maybe because she had never stopped being her, she had just learned to hide it better from everyone.

"Snowflake?" Bucky's voice roused her from her paralyzed stupor. He had come to stand in front of her and was holding her face in his hands. She didn't know how long she had stood there, still and unresponsive. She saw Bucky's worried face and smiled weakly at him as she placed her hands over his. "We can find another way down" he suggested, but she shook her head. It would take them more time and their time was running out. She had come here to fight and not be paralyzed by her fear. "I'm fine" she lied and tried to convince Bucky of that with a smile. He knew she was lying, that her smile was forced. But he let her lie to him and let her step around him to walk towards the elevator.

He followed her and entered the narrow elevator right after her. The metal made a dangerous noise and Ivy was afraid it would break under their weight. The elevator was narrower than Ivy had anticipated, but she was also trapped inside with two wide super soldiers. The two men were closing in too much space, so Ivy had to queez herself between the two of them. The two men stood facing the middle while Ivy stood facing Bucky's chest. She pressed her face into his chest, trying to calm herself by his scent and remind her that she wasn't in her dark cell. Bucky's arms found their way around her and his hands drew gentle circles over her back as he softly hummed a song to somehow distract her.