from a young age jay had been a very independent person. he wasn't too keen on making friends, as he was used to being alone. sure he could hold a conversation if he had to, but going further than mundane conversations most of the time made him fairly uneasy. while of course jay wouldn't admit personal things like this out loud, he knew in the back of his mind what caused this.
what was the root of this issue you may ask? his mother. the boys mother wasn't necessarily an insufficient person — quite the opposite actually. the woman was courteous in all honesty, but in such a way that it put her son at fault. she had gotten pregnant with the boy during her last year of nursing school and as you can imagine, that's not a very convenient time for a child. to make the situation even more complicated for the woman, the father wanted nothing to do with jay.
however the woman still took on the challenge, doing absolutely everything in her power to finish her schooling and raise jay. the woman had gotten so accustomed to working so much and constantly going that even after she had jay she couldn't stop herself from working so much. she barely even took care of jay.
a part of jay felt bad quite honestly, he didn't enjoy seeing his mother struggle or constantly work herself to death. even now that the boy was almost an adult he didn't think his mother needed to work as much as she did. it's not like he had a whole lot necessities — he barely even liked asking her for simple stuff like groceries or school supplies. he didn't want to burden his mother.
jay had multiple memories of being alone as a child, as early as four years old. he remembered his mother often leaving him in the living room with the tv on, saying that she'd be back later. he'd wait for hours on end and sometimes even fall asleep on the couch but when he'd wake up the woman still wasn't home.
sometimes he'd cry, calling out for her but he quickly learned that did nothing. sooner than later he just stopped waiting for the woman, he'd stop expecting to see her as a whole. he'd grown to fend for himself, waking up on his own, getting his own breakfast, catching the bus — functioning almost like an adult by the age of 8.
he'd go to school, come home and still rarely see even a trace of her. even on special occasions where he'd expect the woman to take off like christmas or his birthday she'd just leave him some money or a benign present like a new sweater. while jay did appreciate such things he truly would've rather his mother be there, to fill the lonely void he felt more times than he could count. hell even a simple hug would do something for him, he'd take any form of attention truthfully.
sometimes he'd dream of such things, just a day they'd spend together or an intimate moment between the two. today was no expectation, jay opening his eyes to realize that desperate dream was not real.
