I won't Get Into Harvard

astronout part 28

This will be a trauma dump, I'm so sorry. TW self harm/eating disorders/suicidal thoughts.

Knowing that nobody knows anything I've been through used to bring me so much comfort but now I just feel like I can never get enough air no matter how hard I gasp. This time last year I was shoulders deep in an eating disorder and not a soul noticed. Except my mom, she ignored it though. She ignored the missing diet pills, the missing meals, the 40 lb weight loss, the bags, the purple skin, the always cold, even the exact knife on the counter. Scars little my body. BUt not for more than. month or two. God knows I can never cut deep enough to leave nay permanent scar. Just there long enough for me to do it again to perfectly clear skins. 

I cant bretah. Please help me.

I cant cry. PLEASE HELP ME. 

i need help so bad

every time i go to tell someone i cqnty

i run out of words

my brain wont physically let me tell them

about the missed meals, the laxative abuse, the throwing up in the toilet, the overexcersize

all the suicide notes I've tried to write

because who would belive me

i mean, i gained all the weight bac

I'm ill

mentally

help me

HELP

ME

HE,PL EM

HELP ME ]HELP ME HELP ME