"CUSTARD, CUUUUUSTARD?! WHERE THE FVCK DID YOU GO THIS TIME", Pure Vanilla was running around the castle like sonc. He told his guards that his grandson went missing while watching some crappy gingerbread show on Pancake's crusty ipad and are on a search party to make sure he and his best friend aren't noclipping through the walls.
"VANILLA THE PIZZA GUY IS WAITING AT THE DOOR", White Lily rushed over to him.
"Can't you see we're in a total crisis right now?!", he told her even though this happens in the kingdom every week.
"BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR DATE NIGHT-😰"
"We'll delay it by 6 hours"
"SIX HOURS?! THAT'LL BE LIKE 3:08 IN THE MORNING THEN"
While searching the upper parts of the castle, one of the guards came up to PV and told him that they found those snotty ipad kids doing cringey fortnite dances on the highest balcony.
Just as they were about to go there, a wormhole suddenly appeared right in front of them.
"WHO'S THERE?!", the guards threatened, making sure it isn't another horknee (cupcakke voice) fangirl wanting to sniff PV's underwear. (the author of this fic physically cringed while writing this one line and would like to forget it existed)
Thankfully it isn't an obsessive simp, but String Gummy Cookie who held all of them at gunpoint the second he stepped in.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOTS GOT SOME OF DEM NORMAL PILLS?!", he asked.
"wait what the fvck"
"Please I need them for uhhh...research purposes."
Everyone in the castle was caught off-guard when they looked at the window and saw Croissant's plane passing by them.
"STRING OVER HERE!!", she called, waving what appears to be a bottle of medicine.
"THANK MILLENNIAL TREE YOU FOUND SOME", string put down his gun and ran to the balcony while the other cookies followed.
Meanwhile, Custard and Pancake were still doing fortnite dances when Croissant's plane approached them.
"OMGEE A SPACESHIP!!!!!", they squealed.
And then using Pancake's flying powers they hopped onto the airplane, causing it to lose balance and crash into the city nearby.
"NOOOOO MY NORMAL PILLS!", Croissant was distraught as she let go of the bottle in her hands.
"CROISSANT COOKIE, NOOOOO!"
String gummy checked to make sure his girl is still fine.
"I'M ALIVE BETCH"
"THANK FVCKING TREE MAN"
The two scurried around to find the normal pills but gave up to no avail.
"Hey are these what you're looking for?"
Croissant and String turned around and saw Black Raisin Cookie who was holding a bottle of normal pills, except the label is a different color for some reason.
They were relieved somebody found it. They were about to set off again when mini timekeeper cookie forgot that her plane is broken and have to find another mode of transportation again.
"CUSTARD YOU'RE OKAY!!!", PV cried while hugging his grandsun. Instead of doing something that actually makes sense like facing whoever is responsible for this mess, this softie goodie-two-shoes ass decided to blame poor little custard because he's that soft.
"AS A PUNISHMENT FOR WHAT HAPPEN YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR 0.00000003 SECONDS!!"
"nO i d0N't dEs3rvE ThIs", Custard whined before running back to the castle. Everybody except for Croissant and String followed.
"BUT WAIT WHAT ABOUT OUR PIZZA NIGH- WHOOOOOOAAAAAAA!!!", WL was about to finish her sentence when she tripped down the stairs of the castle, causing the guards to stumble and some weird physics thing to happen where the bushes and lamp posts lean over and bonk string gummy on the head.
"Croissant, I don't think these look like normal pil- OOWWWW", the bonk was so strong the "normal" pill string gummy was holding in his hand flew away and landed into croissant's mouth.
Croissant felt dizzy for a while and saw nothing but pink and yellow before she passed out. String also passed out from the impact of the bonk and everyone was shooketh so that blind-ass vanilla twink took them inside to be healed beacause that's what healer sunovabetches do am I right?
AAAAND ANOHTER MATHERDUCKING CLIFFHANGER HAHAHAHA!
YOU ARE READING
The Horribly Chaotic Misadventures of Timekeeper Cookie
FanfictionA follow-up to the pharmacy incident featuring Timekeeper, Croissant, and String Gummy as they get into all sorts of wacky shenanigans in a botched attempt to get their brains to work.
