beautiful facades

Rosie

Morti didn't come to school the next day which was especially weird given how he had just left the day before. I only texted him if everything was alright but I didn't really expect him to answer honestly. I was the queen of ‚just disappearing' after all and although I knew he had a reason I wouldn't force him to tell me.
Yet when Marco came over to me after lessons I thought he was worrying about Morti. But that wasn't the reason he had come to me. It was something else, possibly even more impactful.
It was almost dark and the sun was almost set, behind the hockey pitches. That was were he wanted me to come. On fridays no one was training so we were entirely on our own.
„It looks pretty", I said. The sky was displaying all colours imaginable. I hated how early it got dark in November and how grey the world seemed. But I loved that we got to see the sunset every day. Marco nodded. Only now I realised how tense he was. Almost as if he was scared of something. Was he scared of talking to me? Was he going to tell me something he had kept a secret?
I knew that feeling of panic well enough to feel sorry for him. But I also knew that he would feel better after we talked.
„What is it?", I asked, sounding as gentle as possible. I looked at him curiously. He wasn't the type of person to have a part of him hidden. But neither was I. And yet ...
„I ...", he began. Although it was almost dark I could tell he was blushing.
„I like someone. Not like, but love. Not just as a friend. But romantically."
He paused. He wasn't looking at me anymore but starring at his hands.
„It is Philip.", he said.
„Philip Mountbatton?", I asked. The most stupid question imaginable. I was just too surprised for a second. But than everything fell into place.
All the times, Marco had held to him when he had been a jerk. All these times he had tensed up feeling his touch, And also why he was kind of the only person to not starr at my legs.
And the fight Philip and he had had.
„He doesn't like me back though".
„Have you asked him?"
„I told him I loved him! ... And he ran away." His voice was suddenly louder, suddenly not trying so hard to hide the anger. Or was it hurt? A little bit of both.
For a moment I didn't know what to say. It wasn't one of these scenes where I could convince the protagonist tortured by low self-esteem that the person of his desire liked him after all although he was too blind to see that.
„I'm sorry", was all I could say. But I meant it. I had been in relationships before but I had never really loved any of these boys. Some I hadn't even liked.
Yet, I could imagine how much it hurt to say „I love you" and not hearing it back. And still, Maro hadn't skipped school and the past couple days he had hung out with Philip just as always.
„Doesn't it hurt even more to be around him?", i asked. „I wouldn't blame you if you needed a break from all this."
Marco shook his head which made a few of his dark curls fall over his forehead.
„It feels like a punch on my nose everytime I look at him. But it would hurt even more not to see him."
I leant over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He was so much broader than me but I didn't care. I still held him, trying to make it better in any way possible.

When we let go I saw him whip over his eyes.
„Thanks for telling me", I said for I knew how big a deal it was to share a secret like that.
He didn't respond but I could hear him smile. Than, we walked back to the main school where our parents were waiting to pick us up. It was already so dark we needed the flashlights of our phone . But he didn't need to make me promise to not tell anyone. He trusted me, more than I had thought and that felt surprisingly good.