I can still feel him
Still feel his hands
His big, disgusting hands
Hands I once loved
As they roam my body
As they cover my mouth
As they cover my screams
My pain,
my pleas
I can still feel him,
Still feel his fingers,
digging into my skin,
Breaking my skin
Forcing their way down my throat,
Forcing their way inside me
I can still see him
Still see his eyes,
His empty gray eyes.
As they gaze into mine.
As they roll into his head from pleasure.
Pleasure he takes from me
From my body.
I can still hear him.
Still hear his piercing voice
As he mumbled about my body
About how much he loved it.
As he tells me to be a good girl
To take it like a good girl.
As he tells me to stop crying.
And fighting.
Or he'll make it worse.
I can still feel him.
Still feel his skin
As it slaps against mine
As it sinks into me
As he groans from the pleasure,
While I scream and cry and fight.
I can still remember
Remember that night oh so clearly
I can still remember
As he told me it wasn't rape,
Because I was his girlfriend,
And he would never hurt me.
I can still feel him
Even when I'm with people I trust,
Even after I showered
And scrubbed my body,
Again and again and again.
I can still feel him.
Every single day.
A/N Wow this one is long. I think the only reason i am brave enough to publish this is because nobody here knows who I am. This day, these memories have only ever been shared with one person who proceeded to call me a dirty liar. Please no hate about any of this. This is a real thing that happened to me and so many other people. It is a very serious problem and i feel like people don't understand it. Like people will make jokes like ''Stop sexually abusing me'' when they are just messing around but I don't think they realized how much effort it takes to not just scream in their faces about it all. Also I realize that the things that happen to people who get raped are different but this is just how it happened to me.
