"My Own Solution"

"The Beginning"

I sat up in my bed, feeling fatigued and smelling horrible. The thought of getting up and having to walk through my disgusting room made me feel terrible about myself. Why couldn't I get up and do normal daily activities? Why did I have to go through this? Every morning and every night I had to feel this way, I always found a way to be disappointed in myself and my own life. I tried to talk to my family about it but they were always too busy wrapped in my siblings and work. I don't want to feel this way, I want a Solution.

This was the moment I decided what "My Own Solution" would be.

Let's go back around a week before what happened, maybe you'd get more of an explanation on why I did it.

Sunday, October 24th, 2013 (3:45 pm)

Audie,

Your assignment from last week hasn't been turned in yet, what's going on?

I would be more than happy to help you with anything you need, Audie!

I am giving you some extra time to get this assignment done, please do so and email me once you have it turned in and completed,

Mrs. Tallei

I loved her but I didn't want to respond, I didn't have the energy to respond.

I stood up from my bed and walked out into the kitchen. I didn't see anyone nor did I hear anyone, they must've left to do something without me, once again. Am I just not important enough to be out in public with them? Half of mum and dad's friends didn't even know that I existed, yet they knew who my younger siblings were. They are probably disappointed in me. All I have caused for them are issues. I would be disappointed with myself too

While grabbing my bag I looked at my phone and noticed a text from my mother,

Audie, please do the laundry and dishes. I, your father, and your siblings are out for a family day. Sorry we didn't bring you along, you were sleeping still and I didn't want to wake you up.

Sorry my fucking ass. You aren't sorry, you just wanted to feel better about yourself. You don't like me as your child, you think I'm a disappointment. You think you're so sneaky about it. I can't believe you.

Sorry my ass. Whatever, I'll do the dishes and laundry. After that, I am leaving for a friend's house for the night. I don't care if you say no. You don't care enough to spend time with me, so why should I care enough to listen to you.

I responded, filled with intense feelings that I could never handle.

After I finished my chores, I packed a few pairs of clothes, stuffed them into my bag, and then left. I didn't want to deal with my family right now, all they do is piss me off.

Sunday, October 24th, 2013 (5:34 pm)

As I walked up to my friend's door, she was already there. She was waiting for me already. She was excited to see me, she made me so happy. Vera was my safe space, I could rant all I wanted to her about my feelings or my family. As much as I hated to admit it, I was in love with her. I was in love with her beautiful dyed red hair, her deep honey brown eyes, especially her smile. That was my favorite part about Vera, her smile was contagious. I loved it. I loved her. Vera was mute, so I haven't heard her voice before. I bet her voice was as beautiful as she was.

Vera pulled out her notebook, which she uses to communicate.

You look rough, how is everything?

"Oh! It's fine I guess, I just slept in a bit too late that's all!" I laughed, she smiled at me

Would you like something to eat?

I shook my head "I'm not hungry..."

She knew I was lying, she knew that I hadn't eaten yet. Vera got up for around 10 minutes and came back with ramen. She handed it to me and stared at me. That was her way of telling me to eat, so I ate.

A few hours had passed of us just doing random things together. I really loved her. I knew she was straight and wasn't in love with me.