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Zia
That night has replayed in my head on replay; no matter how many times I told myself I'm over it. I never talk about it because why would I want to relive such a tragedy in my life? The night that changed everything; it changed me forever. I still remember it like it was yesterday.
My father is in a drunken rage again which was nothing new in the James household. My little sister, Alisha, is the youngest of us two and I made it my duty a long time ago to protect her and my mother. That man, my father, can get ruthless and I knew one day he would eventually go to far, but what I didn't know is that night is tonight. My mama has been his punching bag ever since got laid off six months ago and it's like he gave up on our family. He gave up on his responsibilities as a man. It's my senior year in high school and Alisha's in her last year of middle school. He started drinking a month after he got laid off. Mom became the breadwinner and provider of this house and that enraged him for some reason. Her busting her ass to make sure all four of us had a roof over our heads because he was too busy pitying himself all day made him so angry that he raised his hand to my mother. He hates the fact that he has to depend on his wife for everything.
After awhile, his episodes became so routine that I made sure Alisha was safely in bed before I knew he would come stumbling in here. I started staying up until my mother was safely asleep just in cause he took it too far one night. I hate seeing him in this state of mind because I used to look up to him. He's my senior. I held his name. I wanted to be him. I'm his successor.. was. But now, I have this burning feeling that I can't ignore. A feeling of hatred, anger, vengeance all wrapped up into a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Truth be told, I'm terrified of what he'll make me do.
But tonight is the night I got to be a man.
"Alisha!" his loud voice boomed through our medium sized house.
She looked over at me as I shielded her from whatever was about to come her way.
"Yes dad?" she answered, coming out of her room dressed in her pajamas.
I immediately hopped out of my bed and rushed to Lisha's room. I don't know what his intentions, but I can hear the alcohol all in voice.
"Terrell, what the hell are you doing?! Get out of her room. The kids have school and they need to go to bed." she reasoned as she attempted to gently pull him out of the room.
"Don't.Fucking.Touch. Me," he snarled as he shoved her back roughly. Once she hit the floor, she attempted to pick herself up, but before she could get up he snatched her back roughly by her hair.
"Daddy stop! You're hurting her!" Alisha sobbed, distraught with fear. I know she's heard the arguments, but she's never actually seen our father lay hands on our mother.
He turned to Alisha and flashed a sinister smile as he began to stalk towards us. I quickly pushed Alisha behind me and stood in front of her with my chest held high. I'm letting him win today.
"Listen dad, I'm letting you know now I deal with a lot of shit from you. Shit that makes you not even worthy of being in our presence. If you even think about laying a finger on my sister, this will be the night you find out who's the real man in this house," I warned in a calm tone.
I want to reason with him.
He chuckled and shrugged me off, "Oh yeah? You don't even got the balls, son."
"I don't got the balls? Says the man who beats on his wife because he can't admit that he can't a man and take care of his family? It can't be that man," I shot back.
"I took care of this family for fifteen years of my damn life! Your mother ought to put some work around here! She owes me that! All of you owe me! And tonight is the night i'm coming to collect all my ends!" he grimaced, sending a chill down my spine.
"You not coming to collect shit but your bags and whatever the fuck else you can carry and getting the fuck out of this house. If you think you bout to lay another hand on anybody in here again, imma kill you myself."
My mother gasped and I see my father pulling out a .38 from the back of his pants. My eyes widened and I did the first thing I could think of. I charged at my father, knocking the gun out of his hands. He wrestled some down to the ground, sending excruciating blows straight to my jaw.
"Mom get the gun! Shoot him!" I shouted at my mother who was frozen in fear.
"You think you can challenge me! I'm your father! I'm the man!" he shouted, as I struggled to get him off of me.
"Mom, shoot him!" I cried out, as the pain begin to blur my vision.
My last glimpse of hope came when Alisha kicked the gun into my reach and I quickly grabbed it and aimed it at my father.
I struggled to regain my composure but I found the strength to stand on my feet despite the pain that plagued my entire body. My mother sobbed and pleaded for me to put it down.
"Torrance , enough!" my mom shouted.
Alisha sobbed silently with her head down. My baby sister is traumatized and I have a feeling neither one of them will forgive me after this night.
"Get the fuck on your knees, you pathetic piece of a man!" I spat a mouth full of blood in his face as he got on his knees.
He spat out the blood leaking from his mouth right in front of me.
"You gon shoot me son? Your own father?" he questioned, with a menacing smirk on his face.
"I don't want to, but I will if you don't stay right the fuck there until the police comes!" I shot back, keeping the gun aimed at his head.
Before I could even blink, my father lunged towards me, but he was too late. I pulled the trigger and his body dropped to the floor followed by a loud thump.
Alisha's eyes widened in horror and my mother let out a piercing scream.
When I glanced down at my dead father, a wave of relief washed over me.
As my mother cried for the man caused our family so much pain and anguish, something died inside of me.
My thoughts were interrupted by Dee calling my name over and over and snapping annoyingly in my face.
"Torrance, do you not hear me talking to you?" she shouted.
I shook my head and rubbed my temples to soothe the headache coming on.
"I hear you, Dee," I sighed.
"I think we should take the kids to see your mom," she suggested with hopeful eyes, but I quickly shut the idea down.
"No," I replied.
She frowned, "Well why not?"
"You know why, Delilah," I scoffed, "Why are you trying to force this on me so bad?!"
She sighed and massaged my shoulders, but I shrugged her off.
She sighed, "I just think it'll be good for them, mostly for you," she tried to reason with me as she stroked my arm gently.
I removed her hand and shook my head, "The answer is no."
