War in Broadway High

12. Ashamed of all my scars

Chapter 12: Ashamed of all my scars

TW: crass and homophobic comments, angst that gets fluffier by the end.

Evan.

It was Monday at lunchtime when Evan found himself in a corner of the cafeteria with the food he'd brought from home, with no idea where to sit or what to do.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Connor since that Saturday, the awful way it had ended. He'd overanalyzed every minute, every word, every action, desperately searching for the meaning of it all, but only getting more and more lost amidst the details.

And he couldn't get the thought of Connor pushing him away and running off out of his mind, playing on a tormenting loop in his head. Stupid, stupid, stupid, you ruined everything, like you always do.

And had he really thought things were different? That he had friends now? If that was true, why was he standing completely alone, completely ignored, in a corner by the dumpsters?

He saw Veronica, sitting with the Heathers; on the other side, Cady, with Regina and her friends; Michael with Jeremy, the two with headphones on sharing the screen of a phone watching something...and his heart skipped a beat when he noticed Connor in the distance. He was grabbing some snacks from the vending machine, and noticed him as well, but he quickly lowered his gaze, hiding behind his long hair, and left to join JD, the two leaving probably to hang by the parking lot.

And Evan...had no one, he realized in dismay. Nothing but the trash cans by his side. He started trembling a bit, and decided he had to leave, he just couldn't bear to be so blatantly mismatched for everyone to judge.

He clutched his uneaten sandwich tightly and quickly walked out the door, wanting to be anywhere but there. Unfortunately, he was in such a rush and so lost in his own thoughts he didn't see in time the two giant jocks he collided against, and he had to fight to keep his balance, his sandwich flying in the air.

"Yo!" It was Kurt Kelly. Shucks.

"Hey, watch it!" said Ram, backing him up.

"I-I'm so sorry," Evan quickly apologized, fiddling with the hems of his shirt, trying to locate his wrapped up food to just get out of there. He was about to do just that, but Kurt grabbed him from his neck collar.

"Hey, not so fast, twerp," he warned.

"We can't beat him up, look, he's like a cripple or something, and we're seniors, man," Ram reasoned.

"Well he has to learn some respect," Kurt countered, pushing the boy against the lockers.

Evan started sweating in utter fear, his eyes fixed to the floor, hoping he could just disappear, make it all disappear.

The footballers turned to each other, exchanging a knowing look, and nodded in unison.

"Pick that up," Kurt ordered with a power-hungry smirk, pointing to the sandwich.

Evan nodded and quickly scrambled to the ground to grab the bag, not wanting to give them any more reasons to attack him. Ram took the sandwich off his hand, twisting his wrist in the process until he cried out, and the two shoved him into the ground.

They laughed.

"We're taking this as payment for your unacceptable behavior!" they snickered, waving the sandwich in the air, before walking away, starting to fight amongst themselves over who got the first bite.

Evan was trembling. He wasn't sure he wanted to get back up at all, a part of him just wanted to stay there, forever. He had nothing to get up for.

Nonetheless, after a few minutes, he did. He pushed himself up, wincing at the pain of his broken arm, which he'd used instinctively to brace himself when he was pushed. His wrist on the other side had a light bruise forming as well.