I got to color guard practice early. They did too.
Just like last October, we went to that same spot in the hallway to talk.
"Look, I know it was you. There's no point in pretending anymore. Also I know JN wasn't hurt. E said he was fine."
"I'm sorry," they whispered as tears began to trickle down their face, but this time I didn't hug them. My face stayed stoic. I wouldn't allow myself to show any emotion. Not sadness, not anger, especially not forgiveness.
"Why would you do that?"
"I don't know."
We sat in silence for a long while. I didn't know what to say. A million fleeting thoughts flashed through my head.
Finally I spoke. "Tell me everything you've lied about."
They stared at me with wide eyes. "I- I can't remember everything. I don't even know where to start."
"I'll start then," I offered. "JS didn't get you fired, did she?"
"No," they muttered guiltily. "She didn't have anything to do with it. I lost my job because I called off too many times."
I'd known that was a lie for a long time. They constantly told people about what JS, their former coworker, had done to get them fired, but it was a different story every time they told it.
I tried to think back to every time they'd said something that didn't make sense, but suddenly, my brain was empty. I knew there were more lies, but I couldn't remember any of them to question them about.
They confessed to the few small things I could remember, but looking back, there was so much more I should have asked about.
Was Mr. W, their math teacher, really transphobic? Was P, one of our color guard coaches, actually rude to them? Was their ex even abusive at all? I don't think any of it was true.
YOU ARE READING
Look What You Made Me Do
Non-Fiction"Don't tell anybody about this." "If you just ignore it, it'll stop." "There's nothing I can do to help you." And so I did everything I was told. I shut up. I put on a brave face. I followed all the rules. But that was the past and it's not who I am...
