P,
I want to say I miss you.
But I know that I only miss who you used to be.
I want to say I hate you.
But I'd be hating a stranger because I don't even know who you are these days.
I want to say that I don't care or that I do care.
But the truth is, I don't know whether or not I care about you anymore.
I've spent these past few years wondering how you, a person I used to love, could stoop to such horrible things. I've always wanted to know why you did the things you did.
But even after all this time,
I still don't know what answer I want to hear.
Is it better to think of you as a delusional psychopath, unaware or unable to control their actions?
Or would I prefer that you just be a cold hearted liar?
All these thoughts swirl around in my head.
And there's only one question I truly do want to know the answer to.
Do you regret it?
Do you ever feel guilty?
Do you even have the empathy to understand what you did to me?
And I know what I want to hear.
I want you to say yes.
But if you can't,
If you're not sorry,
And you've never made any attempt to fix what you've done,
Or maybe you don't even want to fix it,
Then don't bother.
Don't lie to me again.
I don't want to hear your excuses.
- Lizzie
YOU ARE READING
Look What You Made Me Do
Non-Fiction"Don't tell anybody about this." "If you just ignore it, it'll stop." "There's nothing I can do to help you." And so I did everything I was told. I shut up. I put on a brave face. I followed all the rules. But that was the past and it's not who I am...
