Forgotten

Chapter 2

Harley's POV

Every day after school I would visit him. I started losing sleep and my mom became concerned. She gave me a curfew so that I wouldn't stay at the hospital all night, and even though I always stayed until the last possible second, I was always home by 9:00 sharp. After awhile, River started remembering little bits and pieces of things, but thankfully nothing about deaths. I dreaded that moment... Telling him. To see that look on his face again. I didn't know if I could do it, but I knew I had to. He told me about a vague memory of his first day at our school, and how we met. Nothing in detail, but anything is good enough for me. Everything else was a blank page, though. Nothing. He remembered nothing. And the worst part of it was that I couldn't do anything to help him and we weren't even dating anymore. I felt helpless. I feel hopeless.

*****

This week my mom is making me go to school, and I hate that.
I walked through the front doors into a crowd of people who didn't even know I exist. And then I herd a voice yell my name.
"Harley!" A familiar voice shouted from afar. I turned to see who it was and was shocked at my findings.
Liz.
"Hi." I said quietly, confused.
"Hey." she smiled with concern on her face. I smiled back as if nothing was wrong. "Where've ya been?" She asked, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"What?" I returned, even more confused. I didn't think anyone would notice I was gone. I guess I was wrong.
"Where were you? An-and where's that guy- uh... River?" A single tear started to form behind my eyes at the mention of his name. She noticed.
"C'mon." she said gently grabbing hold of my wrist and guiding me to the bathroom. "Alright..." She sighed. "Wanna talk about it?" She smiled slightly.
I shook my head and tears started streaming down my face. She pulled me into a hug.
"It's okay. I'm here. I know I haven't been lately but I just thought you wouldn't want me to be after what happened. But if you'll have me, I want you as my best friend again. Sisters?" She suggested, holding out her pinky finger as we used to do in middle school. I smiled and wrapped my pinky finger around hers and nodded my head. She hugged me again, only this time, tighter, and I hugged back.
"I miss you." I managed to sneak through my cracking voice.
"I miss you too." she started crying, which made me cry more.
"God, I'm so sorry! I never meant to do that to you, I just got sucked in."
"I understand." I nodded.
The bell rang and we hugged briefly again before going to our separate classes.
In my head I couldn't tell if this was a good idea or not.
I pondered this thought as I walked to class, trying to keep myself from thinking of River. It doesn't work. I keep thinking of him sitting in his hospital room wondering why his family hasn't visited him yet. I'm so scared for him to find out the truth about everything. I know I'm just avoiding the inevitable by not telling him, but I just don't want him to go through that pain again even though he doesn't remember the first time. After I sat absent-minded throughout all of class, the bell rang and snapped me out of my thoughts of River and how and when to tell him. My expression must have been worried because Liz came up to me and put her hands on my shoulders, kneeling down slightly to meet my eyes.
"Hey..." she said with a concerned look on her face.
"Hey" I said looking up and smiling.
After talking to her a brief moment we decided to skip our next classes and and sit and catch up for the next hour or so. I told her little bits about what had happened with River, an she told me how her "friends" basically used her for whatever reasons. She told me they made her think they were her friends and then humiliated her in front of everyone and put a video of it online. I had no idea seeing as I shut the world out for about a month. I can only imagine how horrible that could've been, especially since Liz isn't the most emotionally stable person in the world. I mean, my life hasn't exactly been perfect lately, but I feel horrible that she had to go through that alone, that I wasn't there for her. My thoughts start to wonder into dark places as I criticize myself for letting everyone in my life down, knowing that in the end I'll just end up alone, because everybody will finally realize that I'm not worth their time, and that I only cause trouble. I'm destructive, but I cant help it, it's just who I am. Like it's written in my DNA or something...

A few seconds pass and I realize that Liz has gone silent, and as I look up to meet her eyes, she look crushed and horrified as she stares back at me.
"You really feel that way?" She asked me, dumbfounded.
"I-I said all that out loud?" Oops.
"Yeah. Yeah, ya did." She nods.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to."
"Don't appologize. Just... You know, you haven't let anyone down. Especially not me. I'm the one that let you down... not the other way around. I left you. There was no possible way you could've know I was going through a rough time. So don't put that blame on yourself, because I'm the one responsible." She explains, putting her hand on mine as a tear rolls down my cheek. I've cried way too much today.
"I let him down Liz" I sobbed.
"Sweety, what are you talking about?"
"I-I should've been keeping a closer eye on him! I should've been making sure that he was okay, I shouldn't have let him be alone like that! I could've killed him, ya know? If I hadn't gone into his house that day, he'd be dead. And if I had just swallowed my pride and actually looked after him, he'd still have his memory, he'd still be in love with me, he'd be fine, but no! I messed up, I did this to him!" I sobbed as I confided in my friend, who's shoulder I buried my tear soaked face into as she rubbed soothing circles onto my back.
"Shhh, there there sweety, it'll be alright" she whispered.
"Don't ever leave me again!" I cried harder.
"Trust me babe, never." She sat back and look at me in the eyes, extending her pinky out towards me with a hopeful smile on her face. I joined my pinky with hers and giggled slightly before pulling her back into a hug.

...

I feel exhausted as I drop my keys onto the counter and sit at the breakfast bar in my kitchen as my mom is making dinner.

"Hey honey, how was your day?" She asked me, cheery as always.
"It was okay."
"Just okay?" She looked up at me. "Oh honey, why are your eyes so puffy? Have you been crying?" She walked over and held me face in both of her hands, turning my head as if inspecting me.
"I'm fine mom, really."
"What happened?" She raised an eyebrow at me.
"I made up with Liz, that's all..." I murmured.
"Really?! Oh sweety, that's great! I'm so happy for you!" She exclaimed and she clapped her hands like a teenager talking to her friends about something cute her crush did.
"I figured you would be..." I whispered under my breath.
"Hmm?" She questioned.
"I'm just gonna go up to my room and wash up for dinner" I smiled.
"Okay honey, I'll call you down when it's done."

Today was the first day all week I didn't go and see River as soon as school got out, but only because he had a CAT scan scheduled for today, and some more consultations. It's kinda weird to think that his mom doesn't have to be there for all of that, but he is eighteen after all, at least that's the excuse I gave him. I begged the doctors not to tell him anything, even though they practically yelled at me, suggesting that that would only make things worse for him if I waited to tell him. I didn't want to believe them, even though I knew they were right. I had to tell him. I'll do it tomorrw. I'm so scared to see the look on his face, but I have to do it. For him.