i remember when » l.s

chapter 2

hey guys!
i know i haven't updated in so long, but i kinda took a break from wattpad because i felt too depressed & i was in the hospital for my anxiety and things just got way too tough in the past months, i couldn't really go on, but now i'm back and it's summer break, so i'll be updating more now. expect another chapter within the next two days :) 
tysm for understanding! now happy reading!

" mom, what are you doing?" louis yelped as he curled up into the corner of the wall his mom had trapped him in. he didn't know what to do anymore.

"why are you even doing this, mother?" he flinched and shut his eyes.

"why am i doing this? have you seen yourself? you're a fucking mess. your hair is always sticking up in random places, you have way too many crinkles when you smile, you're way too tan, your fucking anxiety attacks always fuck us up, and- have you seen your grades? why the fuck don't you study? do you not like studying? how will you ever fucking get into a good college? how will you ever become a doctor like grandpa wants you to be? or will you let him down again? all your friends are way better than you. they'll go off to some ivy-league school and you'll be stuck in community college!" she continued stressing school, "and speaking of ivy-league schools, do you remember my school friend, anne twist? do you remember when we went over to her house? she has a son your age. remember him? harry? harry is way better than you, in every way. i was just talking to her the other day, and she told me that they're already looking at colleges! she said that he's planning to get a scholarship to princeton university. and what will you do? community college. why the fuck were you born? you're a disgrace louis, you'll never be good enough for anybody. nobody will want you if you don't have a profession! nobody!" his mom kept going about him being a failure.

all those words wrapped around louis' brain, he felt like he was trapped. those words drowned him in anxiety. they shut his voice down. they silenced him. why was he born like this? it was terrible. he came home to this almost everyday of the week. he could feel the familiar rush of adrenaline before an anxiety attack as his muscles tightened.

stay calm louis.

take a deep breath.

breathe.

you're okay.

louis closed his eyes, taking in shallow breaths and training himself to calm down, that this was all a bad dream. he would wake up to a better life. soon.

"LOUIS?!" his mom's screechy voice rang out, causing his breaths to get more rigid and shaky.

"how many fucking times do i call you before you answer me? this is another reason why i fucking hate you so much. so much." she glared at him, her lighter still grasped firmly in her hand.

"now go upstairs and clean the guestroom, we have guests coming over. go. right now."

louis shot up from his corner and slowly limped up the stairs. he turned to enter the guest room, and locked the door behind him. he felt his anxiety sizzling away once he was alone. he was broken. shattered completely. he was so broken that he couldn't even find the pieces to fix himself. he couldn't fix himself. he just needed himself.

his mother's words rang into his mind again.

harry is way better than you, in every way. every way. he's better than you in every way every way every way every way

louis dug his fingernails into the side of his head. louis remembered that day that his family had visited mrs. twist's house. it was the worst. everything about their house was terrible. the furniture was old and growing cracks and marks. their kitchen always smelled like some kind of corn flour. all the floors were always creaking. he never had privacy. but the thing from that house that he despised the most was harry.