The List » Zarry (M-Preg) ✔

32: Big Chair

It was still raining.

In fact, it was raining harder than it had been earlier that day. But it was nighttime now. And after procrastinating for six hours, Harry had finally made the drive to Hollywood Dry Cleaners and parked next to Zayn's car. Being that it was closed, most of the lights were turned off inside with the exception of a few. So he got out of his SUV and opened his umbrella up above his head.

After locking the doors, he went up to the front door of the business and pulled on the handle just to be sure that it was locked. It was. So he knocked loud enough for Zayn to be able to hear. A few moments later when Zayn's figure appeared in view, he felt his face get hot. And the heat only rose as Zayn unlocked the door and opened it to him.

"Hey." Zayn said.

"Hi."

"Come in."

When Harry let his umbrella down and walked in, Zayn closed and locked the door behind him.

"I'm sorry." They both said at the exact same time.

"What? Why are you sorry?" Harry questioned.

"Because I let Louis spend the night at my house on Saturday. Nothing happened. But still... he is my ex and I know you had some concerns. I shouldn't have done that."

"No. Stop it. Don't do that. Don't apologize for not doing anything wrong. Being concerned for a friend is a great thing and I'm glad you did. I am the one who should be apologizing. I'm so embarrassed."

"Harry."

"Don't. Let me say this, okay? I was wrong five years ago and was wrong this time. I know that you love me so much and you're loyal to me no matter what. I mean you were going to go out with Stacey Plummet for me for crying out loud."

Zayn laughed.

"True. I was going to do that."

"So I should have trusted you. I shouldn't have believed someone without coming to you first. And to be so quick to do it when I know that we have a son together is... I don't know... I don't know why I did that or why I do that."

Harry wiped under his eye where a tear was falling.

"You do it because of me. When I had your implicit trust, I fucked up. Granted I was just a child. We both were. But that's where it all started."

"That's not an excuse, Zayn. At least not for me. We may have been kids then but we're adults now. And I even say that having Benjamin so young is why I'm more mature. But for some reason when I'm afraid to get hurt, that maturity flies out the window and I revert to the last day of high school all over again. I run away first before I can get hurt more. It's stupid. I know. And you must hate me for that."

He took Harry's umbrella from his hand and laid it on the front counter.

"Harry. I could never hate you for anything. Do you remember the day I asked you to prom?"

"Kind of."

"You thought you were the last person on earth I would ever ask. Aside from my dumbass reason back then, I really wish I had asked you to be my boyfriend back in freshman year that day when you looked back at me. You were so fucking beautiful and confident, independent. And you haven't changed. Sometimes I think you don't need anyone. I mean look what you did with Benjamin without me. He's a really good kid."

Harry shook his head. The tears hadn't stopped flowing.

"You're wrong. I do need you. I didn't make four years without you. Why do you think he recognized you the day he saw you? Because I talked about you all the time. I know I told you my mom initially made me and she did. But teaching him about you became easier for me every day. I understood that I couldn't do it without you. I couldn't have told our son in a world where babies mostly come from men and women, that he came from me without you. It's hard. So I need you ,Zayn. I need you more than ever, the same way I always have."