Nola

G is for Guilt

--Nola's POV--

I should've left with Zeke. I haven't done nothing except lounge by the pool by myself. Everyone else is either hooking up, drinking, or in the pool.

The worst part is Zeke won't answer me. I've texted him several times and called him three times. He's probably starting to think I'm clingy.

I'm just worried about him. Zeke went through depression last summer. He got off his medication around Christmas and he's been fine since, but it's times like these when I really worry about him.

Me: Please just tell me you're okay?

Ten minutes later no response. I sigh as I stand up.

"Taylor, I'm heading to yours to check on Zeke, okay?" I tell her.

"Whatever," she replies as she jumps on Jackson in the pool. He'll probably have her in bed by tonight.

--Zeke's POV--

I promised my family that I'd never try to hurt myself again. I promised I wouldn't go down the wreckless path that I was going down last year. But I caved. I thought finally having Nola in my life would rid me of all the negative thoughts, but Jackson's words finally got the best of me.

Right now I'm sitting on the bathroom floor. My arm is wrapped in a towel. I'm leaning against the tub with my eyes closed. I want nothing more than to just die right now.

Nola would be fine if I did. She'd get over me. She'd probably turn to Jackson for comfort. He'd win. He always wins.

"Zeke?" I, unfortunately, hear a familiar voice ask.

My eyes burst open as I hear her shake the door handle of the bathroom door.

Shit.

She knocks on the door, "Zeke? Are you in there?"

"Fuck," I say to myself.

I quickly jump up and rush to the sink.

"Zeke I can hear you. What's going on?" Nola asks.

"Uh...um...I'm just washing...washing up. I'll be out in a few," I tell her.

--Nola's POV--

I decided to wait for Zeke in his room. Zeke eventually makes his way into his room. He looks like he had been crying.

"Are you okay Zeke?" I ask as he approached me nervously.

"Kiss me," he says, avoiding my question.

"O-okay," I reply as he leans me back on the bed and immediately attaches our lips.

This kiss isn't like the one we shared before, that was filled with passion. There's force behind the kiss. It's like he's angry or trying to distract me. Or himself.

Ten minutes into our little make out session we get interrupted. Jackson and Taylor.

"Look at the freak go!" Jackson jokes as he walks into Zeke's room.

Taylor giggles as she leans against the doorframe. Zeke jumps off of me and sits on the edge of his bed. His breathing starts to get irregular as Jackson continues to make fun of him.

"You know this won't last, right freak? She's going to leave you when she realizes how messed up you really are. How about you show her your scars. Show her why you're a freak. Get angry you fr-"

Before Jackson can continue Zeke charges at him. Taylor and I both look at each other not knowing what to do. Jackson picks Zeke up and slams him to he floor.

"Stop it Jackson!" I shout as I try to push him off of Zeke.

Jackson pushes me away.

"Don't fucking touch her!" Zeke says as he manages to find the strength to shove Jackson off of him.

Jackson gets up and glares at Zeke. Zeke ignores him and rushes over to me.

"Are you okay?" he asks worriedly.

I nod my head, "are you?"

He looks down, but nods.

"You just wait freak. I'll get you. And I'll get Nola. Maybe I'll let you watch as I f-"

"Jackson!" Taylor shouts.

Jackson glares at both Zeke and I before storming out of the room. Taylor sighs and follows him to her room. Zeke and I lay on his bed for an hour in silence before he speaks up.

He sits up, "if I show you something, promise you won't be mad?"

I nod my head.

He sighs before pulling back a bandaid on his wrist. I didn't even notice it earlier. I sigh once I see what he'd done to himself.

I grabbed his arm gently and looked it up and down. I've never noticed it before, but he had several scars on his wrists. I never would have thought that he'd do something like that to himself. I knew he was depressed before, but I didn't think it was this bad.

"Don't tell anyone Nola, please?" Zeke asks me.

"I promise Zeke, IF," I start. "If you promise to never do it again."

He nods as he looks me in the eyes.

"Zeke, I'm serious. Call me, text me. Do anything you can to reach me. I'll always be here for you no matter what."

Zeke gives me a soft smile. I pull him back down on the bed and straddle him. I pin his arms above his head and lean in close to him.

"I love you Zeke," I tell him truthfully as I look him in the eyes.

His eyes light up. I don't think I've ever seen him this surprised or happy.

"I love you Nola," he says with the biggest smile.

For the next hour we cuddle and talk. I love him. I really do.

Zeke has always been there for me. Even when we'd ditch him and make fun of him. I only did it because of Jackson. I regret every time I was involved in hurting Zeke. He didn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve it. Zeke is one of the most amazing people I know.

"Nola," he whispers to me.

"Zeke," I whisper back.

"Stay over?" he asks.

It's already dark out. I'm surprised my dads haven't called yet. I nod my head and snuggle closer to him. He kisses the top of my head and whispers 'I love you' before drifting off to sleep.