Why me?

Beginning of a new era

Was it always like this? What did I do wrong that made things go wrong? Is it my fault....

Beginning of the pandemic, a lot of things had changed. Everything shutdown as if the world was ending. The whole world turned silent, nothing could be heard. That year of 2020 seemed like another normal year, kids playing with each other, families bonding, people traveling like as if everything was at peace. 

Hi my name is Flynn / Jun (which ever is fine) 

It was my first year of middle school......nice right? Everything seemed pretty chill i met new people but i'm a bit of an introvert so it was hard for me to get close with people. I wasn't sure about doing great, but i met a lot of people and it felt cool. You know what that means as well? A new crush...great another thing i did not want to do. I'm not really great at introducing myself to people. However i wanted to experiment. Lets call this guy Alan. He was pretty cute, (that's what i thought) nice, funny, stupid, and immature. Sounds like a basic ideal type. I don't know what made me think of liking him. Maybe it was because i was still young and innocent. Continuing on, Alan was already in a relationship with their girlfriend. Of course i was disappointed and kinda upset. I ignored the fact that he was already taken and just decided to hang around him and get close to him. I treasured any moment i had with him like little interactions. I was head over heels for him, but i don't think he ever really noticed. I had 2 classes with him, math and language arts. In language arts i had him and his girlfriend. Surprising right? I envied her a lot because of the way she looked. I never really accepted how I looked myself, i felt fat and ugly. 

Well a few months passed and everything was the same. However not for long, i experienced something I've never felt. I became scared.... 

[ Thank you for readinggg <333 ]