Why me?

Trauma?

I really didn't know the cause of my situation. But i felt like it all started from food....I don't exactly know if thats normal but who cares.

Well it started when we were coming back from the store and decided to go eat at a fast food restaurant. It still scars me til this day. I order the usual a bacon hamburger. That day was also the super bowl hahaha what a nice reminder. Anyways after I ate almost all of my burger I ended up feeling queasy and unsteady. I hate the fact of hurling or imagining it. This caused me to be scared of eating any kinda of red meat especially beef. So chicken was my main to go. After that I started dropping weight as expected because i was now scared of food. I guess thats what caused my anxiety to become a little worse than normal. I felt like I was being taken down. I constantly had stomach aches and pains in my stomach which was traumatizing. 

Besides what was happening I acted as if nothing happened. I kept crushing on Alan like it was the end of the world. Even though he already had a girlfriend. I didn't really like her. My first impression of her wasn't the best. I had one interaction with them and It didn't go so well. Long story short i heard them cuss in Spanish.  Since i know Spanish as well I understood what they said. Then a old friend told her that i understood, and she responded saying that if I knew then tell on her.... I didn't like how she acted and questioned why Alan liked her. I hated her and put all my rage into her. That was very immature of myself. I took it as a chance to actually ask Alan if he liked me. I asked my friend whom I told them about my crush to help me. I then wrote down on a piece of paper : "Is there anyone you like besides your girlfriend?" I asked her to give it to him. Yeah....that sounded very, very, very stupid at least I was aware of that.

However that day I didn't know it would be the last day i would see all the people I knew. 

Thank you for reading!

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