How to Date a Nerd

Chapter 34 - How to Survive the Aftermath of a Second Breakup

I'd keep my friends warm when times got cold
I'd live forever and grow old
I'd keep my friends close
We couldn't be sold
Go on, go on, go on, go on

“Did you send her the tickets?”

“Front row seats for two. Five-star hotel accommodations. And a limo to take her wherever she wants,” Moira answered me from the other line. “I made sure she’ll be coming. Do you reckon that’s sufficient?”

“Great,” I said, satisfied. “I’ll meet her before the concert then. Make sure Nate’s not anywhere near us. If things come to worse, I’ll have Chuck and Reed stall him for me or something.”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ve made all the arrangements to keep your conversation private. Nathan wouldn’t even catch a whiff. For now, concentrate on your performance. You have to make your comeback a huge one.”

After ending the call, I slumped in front of the mirror inside the band’s dressing room. The sound effects of Parasite Eve 2 became the background of the nagging thoughts inside my head. I watched myself frown, glare then strained a smile.

I’d have to behave my best. Look my best. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling it.

Sighing, I stared at the light blue envelop sitting on the table. My hand reached for it for the eighth time. And this time, I picked it up, terrified out of my wits.

After almost two weeks of being down in the dumps, I got no idea how to deal with this. I blinked forcefully, trying to clear two weeks’ worth of hangovers. Unexpectedly, there was no crying involved. I was kind of too numb for that. But there was something else—something only alcohol could drown. It was the worst feeling. Like when you think you’d never smile again. And I mean a real smile that’d make you all warm and fuzzy inside. I knew that was gone for the rest of my life.

I opened the envelope for the first time, closing my eyes to calm the rising panic in me. She said she’d write. I just didn’t expect she’d actually do it. More so, I didn’t expect that this’d be such a big deal for me.

Two days ago, I thought I was gonna be okay. It was Nate and Elle who practically hauled me from a club in downtown LA. More often than not, they’d be the ones the bar people would call whenever I’d passed out. I couldn’t remember the club’s name. I was that drunk. Plus, it wasn’t the first pub I’d been in for the past few days.

I poured my anger on them. All the crap and angst I’d been keeping. I cussed at them. Told them I didn’t need them or their help. None of that drove them away. Even Nathan who I’d thought would be the one who’d enjoy seeing me so low. They didn’t try to comfort me. No one said that everything was gonna be alright. No one said I’d feel better the next day. All the while, they just sat beside my bed, listening to all my crap.

All Elle would say was, “Sleep now, Leon. You’re tired. We’ll be here when you wake up.” But I kept ranting about how life sucked until I fell asleep. Whenever I woke, they’d be there as Elle promised.

I had no idea why was still wasting her time on me. It’d been more than a year since we ever talked—since she and Nate broke up. I’d been so caught up with my own troubles back then that I didn’t even try to be there when she needed me. I thought it’d be easier for her if she wasn’t reminded of anything connected to Nate. But now, here she was, obliging herself to put up with Nate just because of me.

“Friends are still friends. Even if they’re a million miles away. Even if they don’t see each other,”she kept saying, hitting me lightly on the forehead with her small knuckle. Then she’d laugh a bit—that shrill funny laugh of hers—pushing the thick clumps of black hair off her face. “It’s like there’s this very long thread tying all of us to each other. So, when we get lost, we’ll find a way back to them.”