It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know... ---The All-American Rejects
She didn’t have much time to begin with.
Of course, that was what she would say. But what she actually meant was…
“I don’t have much time, Leon.”
“What d’you mean you don’t have much time?” I raised a brow. It could be an alibi. Sarah was trying to get rid of me after all. But why was it that when I looked her in the eyes, I couldn’t tell if she was lying?
Tears were on the edges of Sarah’s eyes, in the brink of falling when she snickered humourlessly. She pointed a finger on her temple. “This. This is the problem.”
I could hardly breathe. Before I knew it, I was already in front of Sarah. I grabbed her hand and dragged her through the crowd of spectators. She half-ran, half-stumbled as she followed me.
“W-where are we going?” she panted.
“We’re going to talk now, Sarah and you’re gonna give me answers.”
It wasn’t long before we reached that ride with floating swans that went into a tunnel. I didn’t bother knowing what it was called. I just paid for the ticket, hopped in and pulled Sarah with me. I waited until we were in the tunnel before I gathered the courage to look at her.
Sarah was looking down while fumbling with her fingers.
“Now, talk. What d’you mean, Sarah?”
There was no immediate answer but when she started to speak, her voice was shaky. “I had the operation.”
“The brain tumor?” She looked surprised that I knew. “Freddy told me.”
Gently, she nodded. “After that, the headaches were g-gone. Some of my memories came back. S-some… didn’t.”
“And you’re trying to get rid of me because of that?” My voice was small.
“N-no…” she trailed into a short while of silence. “That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
“I… Remember when I told you before. ‘You can’t see me but—“
“You will always be there watching.” I nodded, feeling my lips pull up a bit. “Back there in Boston… during the band’s press con. You were there.”
“I was always there—“ She bit her lip before she could say more.
All those years, I thought she was out of my reach. Just the thought of her being so near to me without me knowing was excruciating.
“Why didn’t you let me know?”
Soon enough, I could see light at the end of the tunnel.
Sarah didn’t answer right away. She waited until we were back inside the tunnel before finally facing me. In the darkness, her eyes glistened.
“I… don’t have much time,” she answered. “I don’t want you to keep waiting for me.”
Anger bubbled up inside me. “Do you think I enjoy this? I don’t want to wait for you, Sarah! I don’t! It’s tiring. And I dunno what I’d end up into and when I’d finally realize how screwed up I’d turn out to be. This is in no freaking way normal, you know that? A perfectly sane guy my age would mope for a week or two and move on. But I couldn’t help it! I couldn’t help wishing every single day that I’d see you again. That on that day, I’d never let you get away.” I shook my head, running a hand through my hair. “I don’t want to wait. But I’m scared that whenever you push me away, I won’t stop hoping. And it’s gonna drive me crazy. So please…”—I met her eyes—“don’t make me.”
YOU ARE READING
How to Date a Nerd
Romance(A Leon Walden Story--Sequel to Life as Told by Nerdy) One word. One broken promise. One fateful night. That was all it took to lose her. And I knew we'd never be the same. I wanted to touch her face, hold her hand, to see her smiles again-even if I...
