Random stuff

Incorrect quotes part 2

Before you start reading: these are all kinda incorrect quotes prompts from a prompt generator 

Also its currently 1 am 

Words: 781

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False: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Cleo: You mean literally or figuratively?
False: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

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Beef: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Etho: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Bdubs: I got distracted about halfway through.
Doc: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Grian: I was arrested for being too cool.
Ren: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

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Cleo: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Stress: Twelve, actually.
Cleo : Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
False : Yours!
Cleo: That's right: no one's.

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Etho: Beef, I'm sad.
Beef: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.
Bdubs: Doc, I'm sad.
Doc, nodding: mood.

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Tango: What do you think Impulse will do for a distraction?
Zedaph : he'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Zedaph : ... or he could do that.

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Beef: Why are your tongues purple?
Bdubs: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Doc: I had a red one.
Beef: oh
Beef: oh
Beef: OH
Etho:
Etho: You drank each other's slushies?

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Xisuma: You have to apologize to Hels
Xay: Fine.
Xay: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

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Cub: This is such a bad idea.
Scar: Then why are you coming along?
Cub: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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Tango: We need to get through this locked door. Impulse , give me your credit card.
Impulse : Here.
Tango, pocketing it: Thanks. Zedaph , kick down the door.

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Jevin: Here's some advice
Wels: I didn't ask for any
Jevin: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

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Grian :What's up guys? I'm back.
Mumbo: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.
Grian: Death is a social construct

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Cub: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.
Scar: Three words.
Cub:

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Beef, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Etho, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Bdubs, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Doc, trembling: What are we playing

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Iskall: Is something burning?
Ren: Just my love for you.
Iskall: ren, the toaster is on fire.

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Bdubs: I can explain.
Doc: Can you?
Bdubs: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

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Beef to the NHO: Welcome, fellow idiots
Etho: Hello, Beef
Beef: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Etho: You underestimate me

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Mumbo: Can I be frank with you guys?
Iskall: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.
Scar: Can I still be scar?
Grian: Shh, let Frank speak.

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Cub: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Scar, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Cub:
Cub: fsh

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Tango: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
Impulse : We got spring water
Tango: NO.
Zedaph : with EXTRA minerals
Impulse : it's like licking a stalagmite
Tango: DON'T COME HOME.
Zedaph : Mmmmm cave water

(Fun fact: didn't know if I should switch impulse and tangos lines. Cause impulse saying that they got spring water makes sense but it also would make Sense if he said that they shouldn't come home)

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Ren: Iskall and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Iskall: Sentences.
Ren: Don't interrupt me.

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Wels: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Hels: No it's my fault, I shouldn't've used my one phone call to prank call the police

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Gem, standing with their back turned: I've been expecting you, Pearl.
Pearl: How did you do that without turning around?
Gem: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

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Iskall: Etho... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Etho: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Iskall:
Iskall: I wrote sanitize, Etho.

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Zedaph: That's one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
Tango: You would eat yourself?
Zedaph: I wouldn't even question it.

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Gem: So what's for dinner?
Pearl, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

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Beef: Listen, I can explain...
Etho: You're making $500,000 and you're only gonna pay me $30,000?
Bdubs: You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting $1,000!
Doc: You guys are getting paid?

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Ren, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Iskall: How?
Ren: How what?
Iskall: How could they be worse?
Ren: They couldn't, I lied.
Iskall:

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Mumbo: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Grian: *chugs entire bottle*
Grian: It's perfume.

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Ren: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Iskall: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Ren: Jokes on you, I can't do math

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