Choices (CURRENTLY EDITING AND REWRITING)

Fixing you and me

Roman had woken up immediately from bed when he no longer felt a warmth against his body. Running down the steps, he searched for his wife in the kitchen and the rooms.

She was nowhere to be found but her car was still parked on their driveway.

Fei, knowing he was clingy whenever she was upset at him, was swimming in the back of their home. She sat at the bottom of the pool thinking, until she saw Roman on the other end of her. Swimming to the top, he had already moved to her side with a towel awaiting her. She pulled the thick fabric to her quickly and sat on the outdoor patio lounge chair.

"Not today." She sighed as he stood behind her. "Just let me hate you for a minute Roman."

He kissed the nape of her wet neck softly, "Sorry. Take your time." He left her alone for the rest of the day but had stayed home with her. She needed him there even if she did not want to admit it - Roman knew. But it did kill her to be reminded of his mistakes when she saw him.

She couldn't consult in anyone regarding this. How could she? She was embarrassed that she couldn't keep her own husband in their own bed.

So as she chopped her sorrows away and had heard Roman grab a glass from the cabinet, she decided to let her anger out a bit. "Why did you do it Roman?" Her back was faced towards him as he was leaned against the counter in the kitchen; he had put the glass away, not wanting to relive last night. The sound of her knife chopping loudly filled in the silence as he stood quiet, wondering what he should say in this sensitive situation.

Fei knew Roman could feel her resentment and she knew it was corrosive - she hated feeling this but she couldn't help it.

Marriage is never perfect, she knew that but how was it that she knew how to keep her oath and he didn't ?

"I would never have cheated on you. I married you and only you." She had only heard him sigh behind her in response. "If you wanted to have sex with other women, you should have never said yes. You should have never married me. You should have never proposed." Gently putting the knife to the side, she turned around. Both leaned against the counters staring into each other's eyes. One unsure of his words and the other ready to shoot down every excuse the other had to say. "Why does it seem as if I'm the only one trying to fix this when I shouldn't?"

"I do want to fix this Fei." He rubbed his eyes in tiredness.

"Then why aren't you communicating?"

"Because you're angry and you aren't thinking correctly when you're mad. Being aggressive is not the right way to fix us."

"I have every right to be mad. I am thinking clearly and correctly. How should I react Roman? Would you have forgiven me easily if I was in your position. You would have been calm?" All the anger had distracted her from noticing how close she was to him until she had seen his hands clench.

"No. I can't imagine." But he did quickly imagined it. Her with another man? He would have murdered them both. "You're anger towards me is valid. I deserve it. Every inch of that frustration and pain that I have caused you, you don't deserve that at all."
Closing the gap between their bodies, he embraced her. "I failed you as a husband and as your best friend. I'm supposed to protect you as a partner and I broke my promise. I broke your trust. I vowed you loyalty and fucked that up." She could not return the embrace. Her body and mind still fuming. "This is not how I should love you. I truly am sorry. I know my words aren't enough. I will show you." His hands clutched onto both her wrists as he pulled away from her stiff figure.

"We'll see."

"I promise."

Sighing she replied, "I don't rely on promises anymore Roman."

"I'm sorry."

But again, sorry wasn't enough to lull her heart. The word aggravated her. It felt annoying to hear all the time from him.

She scoffed, "Yeah. I know." As he gripped her tiny fingers with his rough hands, his eyes faltered. "I'll fight my life for you and this marriage." His words flew past her as he kept reassuring her.

A side of her knew that nothing good would arise if she kept this anger inside. She would just be stuck in a bitter marriage if she kept this up. Fei had to forgive him but not today.

Stopping him mid-sentence she coughed, "That's enough Roman. I'm done for tonight. I just need to sleep on this. I need some more space please." He squeezed her hands one more time and released them. "Of course."

She pecked him a goodnight kiss, packed the ingredients she was preparing to cook for dinner, washed her hands and walked off to bed.

Meanwhile, Roman had went upstairs later on with a couple of shots of whisky in his system to help him sleep alone. Without his wife to hold, he cuddled the pillows and tossed and turned the whole night.
And as he was later deep asleep, he dreamt of a wet dream.

—-

I have a thing for wallowing myself in heartbreak. Just me?

Sorry for the slow update. This chapter might have some typos and if so, please let me know. I have been busy and planning on how to execute this story later on. I'm planning to do 7-8 chapters. I like it short and sweet. Please look forward to it! Might be slow updates but it will be pushed and finished before summer. I will try to post a chapter every week but I can't make that a promise!

Thank you so much for reading and liking this story!