Married to the Villainous Duke

Chapter 39: Spring Returns

I went to the same spot in the library everyday but he never returned. I desperately wanted to see him again. It wasn't just because he was the most handsome guy I've ever laid eyes on but I felt it, from deep within my very core, that he was the one important thing I've lost. He was the person that I lost. 

It's crazy, considering that he's a complete stranger to me, that he made me feel that way. Another crazy thing is, I don't feel like he's a stranger at all. I feel as if I've already spent thousands of hours with him, memorizing every line and shape of his being.

I didn't tell my friends about what happened as it's too difficult to explain but they were very curious why I insisted on visiting the library alone every single day, except on Sundays when the library would be closed. They thought I discovered who the mystery N guy is but I told them no. They don't know I discovered someone far more important. I found who I lost and now I yearn for him so desperately to the point that my heart aches at times. 

"Am I perhaps in love with him?" I asked myself during one of the many days I spent waiting alone in the library. The pain I felt in my heart already gave away the answer: I am in love with him. Deeply. Truly. Irrationally.

I thought love at first sight only occurred in the fantasy-romance novels I love to read but I guess it really happens in real life. The problem is: would he love me too? Just like what happens in my favorite novels?

The seasons change and winter passes. Spring returns like an oath fulfilled, that the cold lonely winter will always end and the beautiful bloom of spring comes back once more. But for me, the promise of spring never came. Winter never left because I never saw him again.

Sometimes, the thought of giving up occurs to me. I know it's fruitless constantly waiting for a person who I'm not even sure will come back. I gain nothing but heart ache, disappointment and frustration. However, despite all that, I will not stop waiting for him.

I've even tried other ways to find him. One of which almost got me banned from the library. I tried to access the library's security footage from that day I saw him. I planned to take a screenshot of his face so I could use it to ask around the university to find out his name.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get my plan into motion. In order to get access to the footage, I lied to the library staff that I left my wallet and maybe looking through their security cams would help me find it. The staff told me they can't just let anyone see the videos unless it's from official personnel or someone with a search warrant. Instead, they offered to look through their lost and found inventory for me. All they needed was a description of my non-existent missing wallet, including its contents, and a photocopy of my student ID.

I'm bad at lying so I knew I would get caught if I gave a random description. I quickly declined their offer to help me which made them suspicious. Luckily, I managed to dodge an interrogation by telling the library staff that I suddenly recall leaving the wallet someplace else and running away as fast as humanly possible.

I sigh as I recall that day I almost earned a library ban. It sounds dramatic but it would have been like a death sentence for me. Getting banned from entering means I won't be able to go to the only place I know I can meet him!

"Will I ever find you?" I whispered to myself as I pack my things, preparing to head out of the library after another failed day.

The spring weather was beautiful and it felt like such a shame to spend all day indoors that I decided to stop by Quireghes Park before heading back to my dorm. I think taking a walk there will help me feel better. I've been avoiding going there because it felt like bad luck for me. I did get run over by a delivery truck the last time I went there.