Death By The Cerulean Sea (Star-crossed Series #1)

Enticing

11

"S-Sorry for what?" I asked him. He sighed and looked down. I felt him hold my hand and I immediately looked at it.

"I'm sorry for all the things I said. You weren't o-obnoxious and you weren't a-annoying. You weren't all the bad things I said. I regret all of it now, Marcelline. I hope you can forgive me..." He said. I faced him and at the same time, he lifted his gaze. Our eyes met.

When I looked at his eyes, I saw a lot of emotions I can't even fathom.

I find it hard to look at his eyes because I feel treacherous by how many stories his eyes are trying to tell. I looked away.

I felt tears pool in my eyes. My vision became blurry. I hate how even if he hurt me with his words, he can just say one sorry and it's already... fine. It's like nothing happened. My stupid heart!

I looked at the floor. He wouldn't say those words if I really am not 'obnoxious' and 'annoying'. He wouldn't tell me to go away if he didn't mean those.

He wouldn't be mad at me if he didn't.

I wanted to shout at him to tell him how much he's hurt me. How he made me doubt my worth.

But I can't.

All that matters to me right now is that he is infront of me. I can't lose him again.

I can't.

"I hate you..." I murmured. I fought for my tears to not fall by they just betrayed me. The words burned me for saying it. I tried so hard to suppress my sob.

He sighed again and pulled me. My eyes widened but I am just too weak to stop him.

We stopped when we're already out of the club. Silence covered us. I tried so hard to not let any tear fall down again but I just failed.

Again and again.

I wanted to say a lot of words to him. Words that I don't think I'll be capable of saying of. Words that required me to be strong before I can throw them at him. I took a deep breath.

"I hate you... I hate how I miss you... I-I hate how... How you can just say sorry after what I felt! How I can just dance with you even after everything you said to me! I hate you! I-" I shouted through gritted teeth. I found it hard to speak because my chest just hurts so fucking much. I can't even look at him.

I felt him pulling me into a hug. He embraced me. I cried so hard. I clutched his shirt and cried on his chest. I can't even breathe because all I can do right now is sob.

I hate how hard is this for me and easy for him.

"I'm sorry, Asheli..." Nahihirapan n'yang sabi. His voice broke. I just continued to cry out loud.

I hate him.

I just wish I didn't care about him like how he does.

He let go from the embrace and tried to wipe my tears. I tried to avoid his hand but he was just so gentle. With a slight touch of his finger on my face, I just gave up.

He makes me feel so weak.

"If you were really s-sorry, then why did it take you so long?! Huh?! You know, I tried to look for you, but I can't find you!" I gasped for air. "I can't fucking find you! I thought you already left me..." I shut my eyes because of the tears falling down. I shaked with grief.  I felt him kiss my forehead.

"I didn't know how to make it up to you, Asheli. I know I fucked up, that's why I am so scared. I know I hurt you and that scared me. I promise to never leave again, Asheli. I'm sorry. Please..." He said softly. I opened my eyes and saw sadness and misery in his eyes. I looked away.