His Darling

Chapter Eight

WILLOW         

            I never understood the hold he was able to grasp onto me. Like I went over there to yell at him, and he just claimed me – almost like I had no say over it. It didn't make sense to me. Ever since I was with him, I haven't been able to stay away from him. It took one kiss for me, and I was gone. I didn't love him but something about him was all-consuming and poisoning.

         He told me that I was "his," and no matter how many times I told him no, he was dead right. I didn't want to be 'his' because he screamed unstable. He hasn't ever been in a serious relationship; he lived a play-boy life, and I was pregnant. None one those things added up to a good future and that all scared me. Internally, I wanted him so much, but my brain told me no. I didn't know if it was a basic instinct or if I was just afraid. Afraid of everything that came with him – afraid that I could love him too much and he could never feel a fraction of emotion for me.

It was Saturday and I was doing nothing around my apartment -how I preferred it, so I didn't even hear the door open.

"Can I take you somewhere?" Tristan asked. Did I conjure him up because I was thinking too hard about him??

"What, how did you get in here?" I asked him, looking around the living room and the front door.

"Front door was open; can I take you somewhere?" he asked again.

"I guess – but this doesn't mean you have any claim on me.  I am only going because I don't have anything else to do today." I made it very clear with him as I stood up. I had to get dressed because I wasn't about to wear pajamas to wherever he had planned.

"Just go get dressed." He told me and slapped me on the ass. That's what I was doing! I hate men I swear.

I wasn't sure on the attire – especially since it was the middle of Februrary in Boston. This has been the warmest year yet so no snow which I am always a fan of. I settled on a sweater and leggings – I was particularly nauseous today and I didn't want to feel anymore bloated.

"Where are we going?" I asked while we were in the car – I noticed we were driving out of the city.

"Just enjoy the ride. I promise you will love it." He told me and placed his hand between my thighs. I hated that I loved it and his touch felt like it belonged.

I did enjoy the ride. I loved winter - it was so pictureque and driving through it made it a vison. When we finally stopped, I realized he took me to Nahant Beach. This was my all-time favorite place growing up. I should come more often but I forget when I am so busy with my life.

"The beach in November?" I asked him. He giggled at me and told me to get out of the car – he held my hand on the walk up to the beach. It was November and too cold to swim but it was so beautiful. We sat on a few rocks near the water – just far enough to miss the waves.

"Why did you bring me here? You always hated coming to the beach." I asked him.

"This is your favorite place." He told me, like he knew it as a fact.

"How did you know?" I asked him pleasantly surprised that he actually remembered that.

"It always was. It's just something that I know about you. I brought you here because I wanted to remind you that I know you and that you can trust me even if you don't think so." He told me and I wanted to cry.

I was silent for a long time – I just enjoyed being in the same space as Tristan and watched the water. The waves were high today, so I was mesmerized by the water, and it brought a calmness to me.