Sommerstall Academy

Chapter 66

Florence

I passed out after my panic attack. I hardly remember anything but there was yelling at one point and I think Elija left. He left when I was helpless and couldn't breathe and I understand I must have hurt him by lying but I never would've thought he'd do something like that. Not when I needed him most.

But I guess I overestimated how much he cared for me and the insignificance of my actions.

"You're up. Here, drink something," a familiar voice speaks. I realize just then that I'm no longer curled up on the floor but lying on a bed. Elija's bed. It's a punch to the gut. His mother must've found me at some point.

God, I'm so ashamed.

"I'm sorry," I say, not even attempting a façade. I'm tired and I feel weak. The last thing I want to do right now is act and no matter how much I like this woman, I don't think I'll see her for much longer. Not if Elija and I are over.

So I let Amelia see my pathetic sadness. Sadness over losing her son and the closest thing I've had to a loving mother figure.

"Don't apologize, Honey. I'm just glad you're okay," she tells me, handing me the glass of water. I force myself to drink a bit, no matter how sick I feel.

"Do you need anything else?" she asks me patiently, those loving eyes on me. It's all I can do not to burst out crying. I just shake my head. "I'll get Elija then, okay?" she's watching my reaction closely. Too closely and it takes my everything not to give her a reaction. I just nod. So she walks off.

In the time it takes Elija to get here, I sit up straighter on his bed.

He finally steps into his room, staring at me from the doorway for a good few beats. I force myself to look at him. To gauge his reaction and figure out what's about to happen.

When he looks away and walks further into the room, he passes the bed and takes down my aunt's guitar. He hands it to me slowly and wordlessly, searching my face as he does.

As soon as the old wood is in my hands, I feel like something snapped inside me. I'm no longer clinging to some metaphorical edge, desperate to get back up. I've let go and I am falling. Flying. Floating. Anything and nothing.

I feel nothing.

Not my bleeding heart or terrified mind. I'm not angry or sad or hurt. I'm just here, accepting defeat.

I nod at Elija before getting up from the bed. I make a move to pick up my things once more to finally get out of here but Elija stops me.

"What are you doing? I thought you'd stay here tonight?" he says slowly. That confuses me. He gave me back my aunt's guitar, that means we're breaking up, doesn't it? Over, done, no longer in a position to spend the night together.

"The guitar- I thought," I say slowly. I watch as his eyebrows furrow and see the exact moment he realizes what I mean. He looks almost hurt as he jumps off the bed to walk toward me.

"That's not- Florence, I'm not breaking up with you!" he says, almost as if the idea were horrifying.

"You're not?" I ask, not sure what to feel now.

"No! Oh, god no. Never that, Florence." He curses under his breath. "Can I hug you?" he asks slowly. His question confuses me, since when does he ask something like that? And what's with all that sadness in those pretty eyes of his?

I nod and he advances slowly, pulls me into his arms, and breathes me in.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"It's fine. Me too," I reply automatically.