You Have All Of Me

S1- Pretty Good Team

When Carlos pulls into the driveway TK invites him in. 

"Let me just get changed real quick and then we can talk." TK calls as he makes his way upstairs. 

"Sure." Carlos says as he sits at the dining table. 

When TK comes back down he is wearing a gray hoodie and jeans. He grabs water from the fridge and sits next to Carlos at the table. Carlos smiles at him. 

"What do you want to talk about first?" He says with a slight smirk, hoping to ease the tension. 

"I don't even know." TK says as he places his head in his hands. 

"Okay, let's start with the most important thing. Do you want to be a firefighter?" Carlos asks. 

"I don't know. Because all my life I thought that I did. But then I got shot and it made me see the situation differently. Like maybe I became a firefighter just because my dad was one. And the only reason I am still a firefighter is because he is and he wants me to be. But, maybe I do want to be a firefighter. Because I know that I love the work but I'm worried that I am doing it for the wrong reasons. And I just don't know what to do." He finishes with a sigh. 

"Well, I know one thing you can do." 

"What's that?" TK asks, desperate for any advice. 

"You could tell your dad, and the crew, how you are feeling. They need to know." 

"But, I don't even know what I am feeling." TK says frustratedly. 

"I think that you do though." Carlos says with a small smile. "And, I think that you're scared, but you have to listen to your heart." He explains slowly, never breaking eye contact. TK looks away after a minute and grabs his water. 

"Ok, I think you're right." He says with a deep breath. 

"Well, of course I'm right." Carlos says with a smirk and TK slaps his arm. 

"You going to drive me?" TK asks as he gets up and makes his way to the front door. 

"Of course." Carlos says as he follows him.

"I'll just be a minute." TK assures Carlos as he gets out of the car. 

"I'll be here." Carlos says with a smile. He watches as TK walks into the firehouse. 

TK sits on a bench and waits nervously for the crew to get back from a call. When the truck pulls in and parks he takes a sip of his water. 

"What are you doing here? What happened at the hospital?" Owen asks as he walks towards him. 

"Nothing crazy, they just added a couple extra stitches. I'm good." TK reassures him. 

"Then why do you look like you're about to jump off of a cliff?" Owen asks, cocking his head slightly to one side. TK sets his water down, walks past his dad and addresses the entire crew. 

"Hey, guys? Uh, I wanted to talk to you about something, and, um, if you could bear with me because it's kind of a lot." The crew gathers around him as he continues, each sporting a confused expression. Judd throws a glance at Owen before turning towards TK, who takes a deep breath and continues. 

"I'm an addict-" 

"TK." Owen tries to interrupt. 

"No, dad, I need to do this. Please?" TK asks as he turns to Owen. Owen looks down in silent approval. The crew exchanges glances before turning their gaze to TK. 

"It's opioids, a few months back, in New York, I had a relapse- pretty bad one. I OD'd and my dad- well, my captain- he found me unconscious. My heart had stopped, and, well, he did what he does best, he saved my life, and the only reason I came down here was because he forced me to." He takes a deep breath and turns slightly towards Owen. "You know, what I'm trying to say is, I never really chose this for myself. Any of it." He turns back to the crew. "Not even becoming a firefighter. And, uh, well..." He falters but Judd immediately reassures him. 

"Hey, hey. Whatever you gotta say right here, say it." 

"All right." 

"We got you." Paul tells him. 

"Yeah, well that's the point because today at that intersection when that woman was dying, I would have given everything I had to save her. And I did give her everything I had, but it wasn't enough." He turns to his dad again. "Until you showed up. All you guys." He faces the group again. "And I knew in that instant that not only was she going to be okay but I was going to be okay too because this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. And at least for right now, this is where I want to do it. With you guys, so, I choose this family." He takes a deep breath and smiles at everyone before turning to his dad again. "Because this is, this is where I belong. So, um. No, that's all I got." He says with a laugh, feeling so much lighter. 

"Aw, hey, well, group hug." Mateo says as he moves in closer, pulling everyone else with him. 

"Ow, Mateo. Stitches, dude." TK says as Mateo hugs him tightly. The rest of the crew pull him closer and Judd places a kiss on his head. 

"Oh, someone's ripe." TK says as they pull away. 

"That's me. That's what you get for showing up at the end of the shift." Judd says with a smile. 

"Proud of you." Paul says as he gives TK one last hug. 

"Hey, thanks, man." 

"All right, everybody, hit the showers. Proud of everyone one of you." Owen calls out as the crew walks away. Marjan turns around but keeps walking. 

"Don't you mean every one of y'all?" She says with a smirk. 

"Yeah that too. Hey, are you sure about this? It's been a traumatic day, an emotional time, you do not need to make this decision right now." Owen reassures him. 

"Dad, I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life." TK barely finishes before Owen is wrapping him up in a tight hug. 

"All right, I got some paperwork I'm going to finish up, then I thought maybe-" Owen begins before he notices Carlos walking up to the firehouse. TK follows his gaze and smiles. 

"How many life decisions did you make today?" He asks TK quietly. 

"One step at a time, dad. I'll see you at home." He says with a smile before turning and walking towards Carlos. 

Carlos raises his eyebrows at him as he gets closer. TK lets out a dramatic sigh in response, causing Carlos to laugh. Once TK is closer Carlos pulls him into a hug. 

"I'm proud of you." He says after placing a kiss to TK's cheek. TK sighs again, this time relaxing into the man holding him. "Come on. I wanted to show you something." Carlos says as he drags TK to his car.

By the time they get to the top of the hill it's dark. TK had been meaning to come hike here but hadn't had time yet. He had also heard that it was great for stargazing, which was apparently what Carlos had in mind. 

"Come on." Carlos says as he hops out of the car. TK follows him onto the hood of the car. Both boys rest their backs on the windshield and look up at the sky. 

Neither had seen something so beautiful, the blue and green lights seemed to move in the sky. The color painting both in a beautiful shade. 

TK rests his hands inside his hoodie pocket as Carlos adjusts his arm behind his head. 

"What are you thinking?" Carlos asks after a minute of silence. 

"I'm thinking," TK takes a deep breath and smiles up at Carlos, "we make a pretty good team." Carlos looks over at him with a smile. 

"We really do, don't we?" Carlos asks, studying TK's face as he does so. TK takes another deep breath. 

"Afraid so." TK says as he reaches for Carlos' hand and pulls it closer to him. Carlos watches as he does so with a smile. He looks up at TK again. 

Who cares about some stupid lights when he could be looking at the man next to him.