Conection [marcus gunnarsen]

Chapter 12

Me and Marcus got really close in the past few weeks. We are together all the time, we visit each other often, with Martinus of course. He is a really good friend to me, some people even think that we are more than friends. Yes we may act like that, but we are not.

I also found a boyfriend. His name is Cam. We met a few weeks ago in school. He is also new at school and we are now dating for a week or so. He is really great and nice. Martinus is really happy for us, but whenever I talk about him infront of Marcus he just change the subject. I don't know why, It's really weird.

But there is also one think that I'm not really proud off. Even tho I'm dating with Cam I feel somethig for Marcus. I know it's definetely wrong but I can't stop it. When I'm with Marcus It feels like I'm home and I can be just simply myself. When we hug, my heart starts beat fast and I feel so safe in his arms. I don't feel this when I'm with Martinus. He is just my friend, we act like friends but with Marcus we really act like we're more than friends.

Today me and only Marcus decided to go to my house and see a movie. We will go right after school cause it's Friday. We ended our classes and met infront of school. When he walked out he said goodbye to his friends and walked straight to me. He hugged me and we begun to walk to my house.

I unlocked the door and we walked in he went straight to kitchen to take some snacks. I went to my room upstairs to put our bags there. He jumped in front of TV with snacks and he put Netflix on. I layed next to him and I layed my head on his chest. He started stroking my hair and we picked a movie to watch. We just enjoyed each other's company.

-

I didn't even realize that I fell asleep. I felt someone kissing my head, probably Marcus. He stroke my hair and I opened my eyes.

Marcus: Hi there. - he said with a smile.

Me: Hi- I smiled back and I wanted to got up but he held me and pulled me again closer to him.

He hugged me and stroked my hair. We stayed like this for a while.

Marcus: Sam? Can we please talk. - I just nodded and we both sat up. Marcus: well... I don't know how to start this but umm... I think that we should end our friendship. Me: What?! Marcus,are you ok? This doesn't sounds like you. Marcus: It is what it is. I think that we both will be better. Me: No Marcus, I won't let our friendship die, just because you are in a bad mood. I like you a lot and I won't let this all end. Marcus: Sam, we both know we are more than friends. We have to stop this, you have a boyfriend and this all... It just has to stop. Me: You are right, that we are more than friends, and I know it's wrong, but it's not a reason to stop being friends. Marcus: I know, but I just can't do this I'm sorry. - he said and took his jacket. He left just like that.

-

I was sitting in my room thinking about what happened. Maybe it was a right decision? I can't be friends with Marcus if I'm dating Cam. It will be the best for both of us. We have to move on.

Suddenly my phone started ringing.

Cam: Hi, Can I come over? I need to see you. - I'm not really in a mood right now, but I can't say no to my boyfriend, right? Me: Of course you can! See you soon my love. Cam: See you.

I tried to sound happy even tho I'm so broken inside. I don't know how I will make it without Marcus. Of course I still have Martinus, but with Marcus it's something dieffrent.

-

We are laying in bed with Cam and he is kissing my neck. I don't like it at all, I'm just not in mood.

Me: Cam, please stop it, I don't like this. Cam: Why? Did i do something wrong? Me: No, absolutely no, but I'm just not in mood. Can we please watch a movie or something?
Cam: Of course, anything you want darling.

-

We were watching a movie when I realized something. Cam was holding me and he fell asleep. I took my phone and I went to my gallery. I looked at all the pictures that me and Marcus made. I was smiling all the time. I miss him already, but then I realized it.

When I'm with Cam, when he's holidng me, I don't feel the same as with Marcus. Marcus makes me feel something that I've never felt. While with Cam, I don't feel anything.

Marcus should know how I feel, I can't be with Cam when I feel like this and ending things with Marcus won't help it at all. I can't change the way I feel and neither can he. I have to end things with Cam as soon as possibel, but first I need to talk to Marcus tomorrow.