Bad To The Bone

I'm sorry

Chapter 9

I walk freely down the hall and right into the library. I sat in my usual seat and stared into the book I was reading. I couldn't help but notice a tall shadow standing over me.

Mariah: Excuse me?  .

I look up to see someone I was not expecting at all. 

Charlie. He had some damn nerve. 

Suddenly memories both good and bad started to float my mind as I gazed into his brown eyes. They seem so warm and welcoming.

Charlie: I know your a book freak so I had a couple questions?  .

I blinked a few time to see if what was happening was actually real . After the incident we have yet to speak until now.

Mariah: What's the question Charlie?

Charlie: You and Ryder together or?

Mariah: What does that have to do with me?

He smiled and sat down next to me .

Mariah: Yes?

Charlie: No answer?

Mariah: What is there to answer? , I keep my love life to my damn self and so should you, you ever hear me asking about your sex life? ....

He made a 'O' form on his lips. I had no feeling what so ever for him anymore to hold my tongue. Everyone had a point in their life that they wish they could take back, right now, he was that person.

Charlie: Well excuse me

Mariah: Yes, please excuse yourself 

Charlie: Can we please have a conversation?, I know you don't want anything to do with me. 

Mariah: Then you should get out my face because I have to get to class.

Charlie: Please, I know I don't deserve your time , but if you can just hear me out.

I sit back down in the chair and look at the seat next to me. That should give him a hint that I will hear his stupid ass out. He was right, he did not deserve me nor did he deserve to sit next to me after what he did. I don't know if I can forgive someone like that for hurting me the way he did. When I tell you Charlie broke me and made me feel like I was useless and unwanted. It made me isolate myself from my family and friends. It took me so long to get out of the depression I was in. 

Mariah: You have five minutes so use that time wisely because you already wasting mine

He sits down and turns to face me fully. Licking his lips, he adjust himself in the seat. 

Charlie: I wanted to let you know that no amount of words can express how sorry I am for treating you the way I did. I was so childish and wanted to be someone that I am not. I don't know if you will ever forgive me, but I do want you to, you deserve someone who wouldn't hurt you the way I did and I am so sorry.

My eyes started to tear up a little bit. I could not believe he actually apologize to me and it sounded so sincere like he actually cared. My heart started racing, I can feel it pounding inside my chest. 

All I wanted was a well earned apology from him and he finally delivered that. The happiness that I was searching for. I can feel the weight from everything he put me through, lifting from my chest. I give him a small smile.

Mariah: I actually accept your apology

Charlie: Then can we be friends?

Mariah: Don't push it, I can forgive you for all the bullshit you put me through but as far as anything than a hi and bye then I don't want it. 

Charlie: Damn, so cold but that's what attracted me to you in the first place. 

Mariah: Whatever you say, I wanted so badly to lift this entire feeling you gave me off my chest

Charlie: I didn't deserve the love you gave me and I really do hope you find someone that can give you that one day, you truly are a very special girl.

Mariah: Thank you I really appreciate it, thank you for saying that

I got up and headed towards my first period class as the bell sounded. I hated niggas with a passion but I knew deep down who I truly wanted.

After school, I was going to prove to myself and society that even when you get hurt you can always pick yourself up. You might not be able to love again immediately after but one day after healing, eventually you will heal to the part where you are strong enough to pick back up those broken pieces and start over again. 

Being Bad To The Bone made me realize that I was just putting up my walls to prevent myself from getting hurt again. And no lie, I didn't think I would ever get over this feeling but I finally did and now I can finally breathe. Everything that I had bottled up can finally be released, I didn't have to scream or cry at night anymore, at least I didn't feel like I needed to anymore.

Time is what I needed. And thankfully time is on my side. Because I did not want to waste anymore than I already have. It might take awhile for me to fully trust again but trust me, I will work on it. 

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