Black and White

Chapter 1

I'm lost. Life is like an ocean and sometimes the tide is too strong and pulls you under until you drown. This is the story of how I died and survived the ocean. I look up as I hear Hailey Scott, my best friend, call me.

"Layla! Are you ok?" She whispered to me in distress.Zoning back in, I looked at her trying to appease her worry. I nod while faking a smile. Hailey looks at Anya Dodson (best friend), Gracie Bradley (stepsister from my dad), and Lily Lamb(best friend) in a questioning glance. They obviously didn't believe me. I looked at them and smiled trying to make them believe me.

"I'm fine, honestly. Just thinking." I insisted. They just smiled at me and went back to their conversation. I'm glad they dropped it. I don't like lying to them. I go back to staring out in space with thoughts rolling around in my head about the 'I'm okay' conversation. 'I'm not okay, it's gotten bad again, but I should stop bothering everyone with my problems. I'm such a burden to everyone I know. I'm not fine. I desperately need someone right now but I feel like you would find me annoying and leave me if I ever tried telling you. I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I hate myself. I wanna die but I'm scared for the people I love. I don't want to leave them alone but I'm really not happy. I don't know how much more of it I can take.' I grab my bag from the floor in my Algebra II class room. It's my last class of the day. I tell Nya (Anya), Lils (Lily), and Hay Hay (Hailey) bye before leaving to get in my Blacked out,  lifted, 2018 Dodge 1500 Cummins. I got her a year ago from my dad and after that I got her tinted with 25/5 and put a Straight dual exhaust on my baby. I sat there waiting for Ace and Lydia (stepsister from dad) to get in.

I turned on my music and Dear Alcohol by Dax started playing. I sat there with my eyes closed until I heard the passenger and back passenger door open. I took my foot off of the brake and pressed on the gas slightly before pulling out of the parking spot.The girls started talking about soulmates so I just ignored them after rolling my eyes. I continued jamming out as I drove until I heard my name. I turned down the music and looked at them.

"I was asking you if you were excited to meet your soulmate. So are you? Who do you think it is?" Ace interrogated while bouncing in her seats.

"First, calm down Ace. Second, I told you guys this before. I don't believe in soulmates." I replied while rolling my eyes. I turned my music back up to continue the ride to my dad's. I feel them staring at me so I turn to them and raise my eyebrows. They quickly turn and continue their conversation. I turn into the driveway and drive up to the house. I turn off the truck and hop out. I go into the house and say hello to my dad(Damon) and my stepmom (Amara). I grabbed a chocolate chip cookie that they just put on the plate and told them I was going to my room. They nodded before I turned towards the staircase that leads to the second floor. I walked off the last step and turned left and started walking up the next staircase. After a minute or two I made it to the third floor. I walk to the end of the right side of the hall before opening the door to my room.

We all got to pick our rooms and I picked the attic as mine. I painted the walls a color called Black Magic by Sherwin Williams. The floors were a grayish brown wood design. I had a black sectional in the left front corner by the door and my four poster king size bed with black Jersey sheets on it was in the front right corner(other side of the door). The back wall had shelves upon shelves of books. I called it my life's library and it went from the left corner to the right. I plan to read all of the books before I die. In front of the sectional was a black coffee table. Next to it was a circular, velvet ottoman. Across from the table were two black velvet chairs with wooden legs. On the right side of the book shelves, across from my bed, there was a black wooden rocking chair, a side table with a lamp on it, and another black velvet chair. It was kind of like a reading area. Beside my bed were 2 black nightstands on either side of it. In front of my bed a couple of feet away was my 3x4 black dresser. All of us have our own bathrooms in the house and mine is the first door on the right when you walk out of my room.

My bathroom was painted a color called Dark Kettle Black by Valspar. The shower had clear sliding doors and the wll on the inside was a black marble. The sink and the toilet were white but the sink counter was a marble with black cabinets underneath. There was a gold faucet and a mirror with a gold edge around it above the sink. On the opposite side of the toilet was a closet. It held my hair products, gray towels and washcloths.

I look at my watch as I sit down on the sectional. 5:00. I'm off of work today so I don't have to go in. Amara should be getting stuff for dinner together by now. I hate sitting here only seeing black and white. I want to see color. I know that you have to meet your soulmate in order to see colors but I don't want a soulmate. I lay down on my back, going back to my thoughts. 'Many people love life but hate death. Life is a beautiful lie and death is a painful truth, but if you look a little deeper, you will realize that life begins with a touch of death and it is like a mirror that reflects the true meaning of it all.' An hour later I just finished dinner and was fixing to get in the shower before I go to bed. Another hour later and I'm going to bed.

The next morning, I get up and get ready. I picked out my favorite black, ripped jeans and my gray Rolling Stones t-shirt. I sigh thinking back to my life before now. My Dad is my favorite parent, I'm so sick and tired of life, I have very few close friends, my mom neglected me in favor of my brother, and I haven't met my soulmate yet. The only way to tell if you have or haven't is by seeing color or not. And you know what the hardest thing about having a soulmate is? It's not the separation at the beginning, not the endless nights lying awake, hoping and praying that someone was made for you. It's the love. It's too strong and you can't fight it. Believe me, I've tried even though I haven't met mine yet. I don't want to be tied down to someone for the rest of my life. I want to go on adventures and not be stuck with someone and our kids if we have any. Don't get me wrong, I will always love him or her. And I need them to know that even if I won't always show it. Most of my friends are like me about the subject of their soulmate although some of them already met theirs. Lills and Ace have already met theirs. Anya, Lydia, Alora Hobbs(friend of mine), Abby Rodgers (friend of mine), Riley King(friend of mine), Gabby Newberry(friend of mine), and I haven't met ours yet.