Black and White

Chapter 3

    Death is so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grass waving above one's head and listening to the silence. To have no yesterday and no tomorrow. To forget time, forget life, to be at peace, to not feel emotions, to not be in pain. I hear murmurs that are slowly getting louder as I come to. I turn my head and see Dad, Amara, Lydia, and Gracie beside my bed.

    "Girls, can you leave for a minute? I want to talk to her alone," Dad asked once I was awake, "Why? Why did you do it, Layla?"

    "It helps me take control." I mumble.

    "What does it help? Does it help control the pain you feel inside?" He asked worriedly. I nod and sit up. I curl back up into a ball and put my face in my knees. I stiffen as I feel arms suddenly go around me. I just sit there until my dad decides to let go. He asked me about what happened to make me do it.

    "I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to die. I couldn't take  the pain. I wanted it to end. I'm alone and it makes me feel like I'm not. I feel warm with the idea of dying. The one person I told about this betrayed me, used me, and doesn't care about me. So if I'm alone why stay here and in pain?" I replied numbly.

    "You aren't alone. You have me, Amara, Gracie, Lydia, and your friends. Just because one person broke you doesn't mean you should just give up." He tried to comfort me.

     "I love you dad. Please don't leave me." I sobbed as I finally broke down. He grabbed me and hugged me then looked at his watch. He looked down and saw I was asleep and clutching myself to him. He picked me up and brought me to his room and put me in between him and Amara.

   "I love you mom and dad." I mumbled in my sleep.

    The next morning I woke up to see me in between Amara and Dad still. They were sitting there reading. I curl into Amara instead of dad this time.

      "Do you realize what you called me last night before we went to bed?" Amara inquired. I nod in response.

      "I meant it. You have been more of a mom to me than my actual mom, which she doesn't deserve that title so I'm going to call her either the Human Incubator or the Egg Donor." I smile at Amara.

     She smiles back with tears in her eyes before she hugs me. I look at my dad to see that he's smiling at me and Amara.

    "I love you sweetheart." Mom(Amara)said.

    " I love you too mom," I giggled,"We need to have a day of just me and you."

    "We could do it today if you want. I have no plans today and you are being watched carefully for the next few days." She responded.

    I nodded before getting up and going to my room. I got my clothes and sat them on my bed before going to my bathroom and getting a shower. I change into my ripped black jeans and my Care Bears emotionally exhausted t-shirt. I head back downstairs to eat breakfast. After breakfast me and Amara went to the back patio and sat down.

"We need to talk about what happened yesterday. Are you ok?" Amara asked. I started to tear up at the thought of Lorelei.

"I'm not really fine. I wanna say that I am but I'm not," I reply,"I thought she still had feelings for me when we last spoke before now. It was exactly the way it was before we broke up. But then the next day, she ignored me like every other day and that's how I knew I was wrong, holding onto false hope. I was going to marry her. I had the ring picked out, everything planned, and propose on her birthday. Before then take her to get her nails done, take her to a nice dinner, and then propose. She broke up with me a week before her birthday."