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Chapter Thirty-Three

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April 26, 2010

Sasuke stood outside the Hokage's door for what felt like an eternity. Tension threaded the muscles in his body and he hated himself for it. It was cowardice he couldn't seem to rid himself of. When he entered through the gates of Konoha for the first time since he'd left them, the sensation of home had bloomed in his chest. Like he'd been holding his breath for years and was finally able to breathe again. As he entered, he'd look towards the rising sun, taking in the village he'd abandoned what felt like a lifetime ago. The familiarity of the surrounding trees, the modest homes, the shops from his youth that were still around had brought a painful but welcome ache to his chest. He was...happy. In his heart, in his soul, he was happy to be here...

And then he stepped through the open doors of Konoha.

The two men there, one awake, one slumbering were familiar to him. He knew their face but not their names. The one not currently sleeping on the job caught sight of him almost immediately. And just as quickly, the man made his opinion known. With a glare he could feel from the distance between them, the man nudged his companion awake.

The man woke calmly, clearly having repeated this routine so many times he no longer startled at the rough treatment. Words were exchanged, ones he could read from their lips even so far away.

"That Uchiha is back...Sasuke."

"He's got some nerve coming back here after what he did...as if that wasn't bad enough, Naruto-san's arm..."

"Hokage-sama and the other Kage pardoned him but still...I can't forgive a guy like that..."

Considering himself checked in, he'd walked right passed the two, not bothering to issue even a polite greeting and the two returned the gesture. Watching him as he walked, distaste in their expressions, distrust in their hard eyes.

He was in no position to complain, nor did he desire to.

This was what he had wrought. These were the seeds he'd sown. The tree of hate he'd grown. It was the penitence he was to pay for the duration of his life, for the things he'd done...for the limb he'd taken from his closet friend. He was content with this treatment. It made him feel as though he was finally paying a price for all the suffering and heartache he'd caused his best friend, for the pain and embarrassment he'd caused the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The shame he'd brought to the Uchiha name.

Cowardice had reared its ugly head after the silent exchange...and from then on, he'd traveled by rooftop.

Telling himself it was to avoid having more people recognize him and drudge up painful memories from his actions. It had been so easy, back then to show his face. When he hadn't cared about himself or anyone else. When hatred, revenge and darkness had kept his heart from feeling anything at all. Naruto had taken that hell from him long ago and left him with the ability to feel.

To hurt.

To experience deep, unending remorse.

He wouldn't trade it for the world and held no regrets about what the compassionate Uzumaki had done for him. It was just...hard. Hard to process, hard to reconcile within himself in the light of day. When he traveled, when he worked tirelessly to protect this place from the outside, it was easier to face his reflection. To look himself in the eyes and tolerate his own presence, but when he was reminded of his place of birth, when there was time to look over his life and see where he had gone wrong, he'd avoid his reflection for as long as he possibly could.