Devotion [Book 1]

Kiss You Goodbye

FanFiction.net

Kiss You Goodbye by qwertyuiopkjhgfdssazxcvbnm

Rated: K+
Language: English
Genre: Romance + Friendship
Characters: Natasha.R, Steve.R, Sam.W, Wanda.M.
Words: 3k+
Published: May 8th 2016

***

"Will you do me a favor and call that nurse?" She looked up at the man in front of her, a glint of playful teasing in her pale green eyes. Steve let out a small huff - somewhere between a sarcastic laugh and a light hearted chuckle.

"She's not a nurse," was his subtle reply. Natasha almost allowed herself the feeling of hope; while incredibly dumb and school-girl-like, it was the kind of emotion that made her feel less like an assassin and more like a woman. She did not, however, permit these thoughts to run rampid across her mind. She couldn't.

To cover up the small slip in her demeanor, she quipped, "And you're not a S.H.I.E.L.D agent."

"What was her name again?"

Natasha resisted the urge to cry a little. The man in front of her had become so important to her in the hours they'd spent trying to bring HYDRA down. Now, she knew she had to let him go. She just couldn't bear the thought that she could be worthy for the super soldier. "Sharon," she answered, not looking at his eyes. "She's nice."

Both shared the same sad, forced smiles, and for a seemingly never-ending moment, the soldier and the spy locked gazes. A whirlpool of hesitant feelings, uncertain hopes, secret desires and a fleeting kiss was flashing through soft blue and intense green. The corner of Natasha's lips quirked upward just the tiniest bit, and she gently took hold of his leather jacket, tugging him closer until she felt his skin on her lips.

The small kiss left both with tingling sensations on where they touched. At that moment, the bond between them had been made. Secretly, tentatively, and unknowingly made, but it was there nonetheless.

The spy turned before Steve could react. After a few steps she turned around, and frowned just a little at the stoic expression on his face.

"Be careful, Steve," she said, when she couldn't take being there anymore. Her voice was close to being monotone, but there was a hint of concern and warning hidden beneath. She allowed her gaze to last longer than it should have while she continued, "You might not want to pull on that thread."

She walked away then, thinking: what a sad ending to a wonderful mission.

That had happened so long ago, and so much has happened since then.

Natasha couldn't bear to recount all the mistakes she'd done, and all the consequences her actions had brought upon her teammates. All of whom had only treated her with respect and friendliness she, as a child and later as an assassin, was never given. Although they had made their own errors as well, she couldn't help but beat herself up; the thought of failing yet another set of people in her life making her crumble.

I'm not the one that needs to watch their back.

She knew that those were the last words anyone had ever heard her speak since the aftermath of the airport battle. A true act of defiance, and perhaps, a proclammation. Even if she'd agreed with Tony, everyone now knew she would always be Captain America's right hand woman.

However, often times she caught herself wondering whether or not that sentence was truth or lie (in terms of it being addressed to Tony Stark and not used to let everyone know she gave Steve Rogers her protection), given that there were multiple variables which proved it right and wrong. As she thought this over, though, her mind wandered down the memory lane as well. Back to the day where she both told Steve to go to another woman, and had soon after placed a small, albeit genuine kiss to the cheek of the super soldier, allowing them both to feel certain amounts of powerful emotions. Afterwards, she decided nothing could ever be black and white, a lesson she should have learned a long time ago.