Life As We Know It (Louis Tomlinson Fanfic)

Chapter 10 - First Time

"We should go back to the beach." He gently rubbed my thigh with the palm of his hand, quietly reassuring me.

Turning, he walked back to his bike. I could hear the sound of the stones being flung up from under his shoes.

I got up and hopped on my bike, following him back to the beach once more.

My thoughts kept swimming around in my head. I tried to put the pieces together, and when I finally did, I felt so guilty.

I felt nothing for Zayn.

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Sitting down on my couch, I was contemplating what happened last night.

The quad bikes, the picnic on the beach, the kiss.

I felt so guilty, I didn't want to lead Zayn on, I wasn't the kind of girl who would do that.

Hesitantly, I reached out and grabbed my phone from my pocket and typed out a simple text to him.

Zayn, I need to talk to you about something, come to my house. x

As I pressed send, I couldn't help but feel every bone in my body turn to jelly, weak at the thought of having to cause sadness to another human being.

All to soon there was that familiar knock at the door.

I sighed heavily before getting up and dragging myself to the door.

I pulled the door open to reveal a rather nervous Zayn standing before me.

"Hi." I said, unable to hide the nervousness from myself.

Zayn abruptedly came into my house and sat on the couch, I followed him in pursuit.

"I think that I know what you want to talk about." Zayn stated simply. 

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Well then you must understand that It's not because of you. You're an amazing person and I would love to be your girlfriend, but when we kissed, I felt nothing. You deserve better, I don't deserve you. I hope that you can understand my reasoning and find another girl who will truly love you." I took in a deep breath, trying to regain my steady breathing.

I looked into his eyes for a response, but there was none. His jaw was clenched into a straight line.

Zayn slowly stood up without saying anything and walked over to me.

The tension in the room was unmissable. Slowly, he outstretched his arms and engulfed me in them.

The tight embrace filling me with a sense of security. 

"Thanks for giving me a chance." Zayn whispered into my ear.

As we pulled back I couldn't help myself but notice the stray tear slipping down Zayn's cheek. Pushing my thumb up I slowly wiped it away.

Immediately Zayn was unable to hold it in any longer, he broke down in tears right in front of me, the liquid outlining his brown eyes in a deep red. 

He lowered his head slightly, not wanting me to see him this way.

It broke my heart to know that this was because of me, I couldn't bear to see him hurting in this way.

I knelt down on the ground and brought my eye level with his. 

Rubbing circles into his thighs I hoped to bring some kind of relief for him, but everything that I tried seemed to fail as the tears kept falling from his eyes.