best friends? || billie eilish

1 - the invitation to rose

*a few years later*

ROSE'S POV

a day off, finally. the last couple days have been filled with recording sessions, interviews, and meetings. and to just be able to sleep and wake up by myself instead of by my loud ass alarm, is a blessing.

i fell asleep on the couch watching Netflix and woke up with an open bag of Doritos on the coffee table. i got up and stretched, feeling the most well rested i've been in a while. i hear my door alarm go off.

"someone is approaching the front door." the soft alarm voice said.

i walk toward the door and look out the window on the side of it. it was kiera, the mailwoman. she's really nice, we actually became friends a while ago. i open the door and smile at the sight of her humming something while walking up to the mailbox by my door.

"oh hey rose! i thought you might be gone at an interview or something at this point." kiera says stopping in her tracks.

"i would, but i have a day off today so..." i say.

"oh that's great! i hope you enjoy it," kiera says shuffling through the mail in her hand. "here is your mail for the day, looks fancy." kiera says handing me a fancy looking letter with a fancy wax seal.

I take the letter and look at it. i try to figure out what it could be but then i hold it and look back up at kiera.

"thanks, i'll see you later." i say smiling.

"you're welcome, enjoy your off day!" kiera says walking back to the mail truck.

i step back in the house and close the door. i sit on my couch with the letter and look at who it's from, it just says "The Council" in very fancy writing. i open the letter looking at the very fancy paper with very fancy writing on it and read it.

"Dear Rose Astríd,

You have been formally invited to the 2021 formal ball for celebrities! This is for all celebrities who we think have made it far enough and are well known. You may have watched last years ball on the "Royalties LIVE" channel on YouTube. If not, you may go watch it as the entire live stream is posted on the channel. Our dress code is simply something fancy, it can be as simple or extra as you want (though we do encourage more towards the extra side!). More information is on the back, to reserve your spot just email the email address on the back. To say you can't make it, email the address on the back as well. We look forward to seeing you!

-The Council"

"no way!" i say finishing the letter.

i grab my phone and open the gmail app to reserve my spot, my hands shaking. i had always watched the ball since 2016. i would always watch it with my old best friend bi- you know what, never mind.

i open my calendar and mark the date and place the letter said the ball was at. i have 20 days until this ball, meaning 20 days to get an outfit, inform my manager about this, and... actually that's it.

i call my best friend cam, we have been friends for about a year. she has gotten me through things i can't even bare to bring back up. i tell her all about the invitation and she sounds so happy. she told me how proud she was of me and the way i was holding back TEARS oh my gosh.

she tells me to come over to celebrate since she just got back from the store and bought snacks. i was down, i had an off day and nothing else to do. plus, i deserve to have some time with my best friend and celebrate my achievement. this is gonna be the perfect way to just have fun when i'm not the busiest person to walk the earth.

i run upstairs and put on some white sweatpants and my black hoodie that says, "don't play with me, i'm gay and unstable". my favorite hoodie. i grab my black mask and put it on after pulling my curly hair back into a loose bun. after putting my hood up and sunglasses on i grab my keys and leave.

making sure i lock the door behind me i walk to my car and get in. i start making my way over to cam's house listening to whatever came on the radio.

"this is Male Fantasy by Billie Eilish on 4.20 Radio" the voice on the radio said as he started playing the song.

i stop at the red light and stop all movement, not knowing whether to change the song or keep it on.

home alone, trying not to eat
distract myself, with pornography
i hate the way, she looks at me

i turn the radio off. i can't do it. i can't listen to her voice right now. it's too much for me.

i sit through the rest of the car ride with the only sounds being the wind and the people who are playing their music way too loudly. like seriously, who plays hard rock music that loud in a car. i mean the songs didn't sound bad, but let me sit in my silence to think please.

i decide to turn the radio back on, i don't know what song was on but i hated it. it was by someone named "7:AMP" or something. i don't know who that is or what this is but i hated it, so i switched the station to another one.

i'm not your friend, or anything damn
you think that you're the man, i think therefore i am

i turn the radio off and hit my head on the back of the headrest. the radio is targeting me today i swear. guess i'm driving in silence again. you know what, no. i'm trying one more time. i'm gonna listen to a talk station. no music involved. i turn the station onto one of my favorite talk stations.

"that is absolutely amazing that you made that album so quick. if you're just joining us then welcome! we're here interviewing an amazing artist who just came out with an amazing album. say hello." the interviewer says all excited.

"hello there, it's billie e." billie says, sounding like she was smiling.

nope. i can't do this right now. i pull into a gas station and park in one of the parking spaces. hold on. why am i crying? i didn't even realize i was crying until a tear hit my arm. i just can't do this. i can't keep being reminded of her. she's a past memory that i don't need to worry about anymore. she's not in my life anymore and i'm okay with that. ugh, it sounds less like i'm stating facts and more like i'm trying to convince myself of this. i don't know. i just don't know.

—

i have successfully completed a REAL chapter. i feel proud of myself ngl lmao.

also i have sad news... my white friend... has hit me. during black history month 😔

anyways i really hope you liked this chapter. please vote and comment! (i love it when you vote but like, i really want some comments. i'll try to respond to most if not all of them)

did you eat today? if not go do that or i'll come to your house and make you your favorite food with my aunt's recipe (i swear 9/10 she has a recipe for you favorite food). i love you and hope you have an amazing day. take care of yourself <3