Born to parents who come from completely different backgrounds, there is bound to be a clash from the moment you are born. According to the paternal side, I should not have been a daughter. Mind you, it wasn't the doctor who said it. It was the dhongi mata.
However, this incident already proves the environment I was in. The woman, who was not even carrying me in her womb, absurdly assumed, even with the evident absence of her motherly instincts, my sex. I don't think her brain contained an in-built ultrasound machine.
ढोंगी or dhongi meaning cheat. This Mata definitely cheated my father's family, but the one most cheated was my father. His crestfallen face was a sight to be seen, says my mother, when the doctor told him I will be born with female genitals. My mother was sure she would a daughter, not a son. Mother instincts at work, I suppose.
Back to the parents. Who decided to get a baby? My birth might have been one thing discussed without conflict. It had been decided since the start. Two people meet and decide to get married. One, because of his age and family pressure. The other, well, also because of her age and family pressure and also the increased risk of down syndrome in a late conceived baby. She was ten years too soon to worry about it. If that union itself was not enough, it was decided that another ingredient is needed for this recipe of disaster. A baby.
That's me. That's where I come in. Damn, it was bound to fail.
It is well known that a person should look around their surroundings, the environment and finally take the next step. In my world, it never happened.
After birth, it just got worse. As I said, parents from two completely different backgrounds meant conflicting surroundings. Although, that's just one small part of it.
So, no, my story is not the 'I wasn't always like this'. It always was like this. In fact, I was born with an incredibly stupid decision and that decision gave way to many other stupid decisions.
