Shehnaaz: Love doesn't just mean saying I love you to someone ... love is love even without saying anything ... love is also sacrifice ... love also means keeping quiet for each others sake ... love doesn't mean simply possessing ... love is also gi...
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Shehnaaz's POV
When sidharth left the room.... i moved from there to the corner of the room where a window was. I looked looked out of the window and looking at the moon who was shining brightly and the sky was dark like my soul. Slowly tears started flowing from my eyes, one by one sob started escaping from my mouth. I slipped down and leaned my back against the wall, curling my legs and wrapped my arms around them. I cried over my fate, i cried of being an unwanted, i cried because i knew i would never be happy. Sidharth will never accept me as his wife... He don't love me.. he loves sonia.... But what's was my fault if i love him so much... I did this marriage just not for my own benifits.... Yeh sab mujhe karna padaa sidharth... Agar nahi karti to tujhe toot ta nahi dekh paati....
I slept there after few time and i woke up and found myself on the floor. I felt ache on my back but i ignored it. I went to washroom and took bath. Then , i found sidharth eneterd the room with poker face. He looked at me with burning eyes. He went to changing room , took his clothes from closet and made his way to washroom . I sighed when he left... I came in front of vanity and did some make-up.
I went downstairs to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for everyone. Then maaa entered the kitchen. She kissed me on my forehead. I touched her feets but she hugged me instantly and said .... Bacha tu meri beti pehli hai aur betiyaa pair nahi choohti.. sirf gale lagti hai. I felt relieved when maaa hugged me. Sidharth kaisa hai... Kuch oiya to nahi usne .. i mean tujhe .. before maa completed i said... Nahi maa sidharth ne kuch nahi kiya i know unke liye tough hai but abhi gussa hai mujhse ... Jaldi hi sab theek ho jayega... Aur main sidharth ko abse nahi jaanti hoon na maa big boss mein itna time sath rahe hai... To kya huya agar sidharth ab mujhse nafrat karta hai.. kisi time par main hi uske kareeb thi na maa. Ab bhi main sidharth ke dil mein apne liye firse wahi jaga bana loongi ..... I said looking at maa.
Mujhe tere pe poora vishwas hai.. maa said happily. Sidharth came down and ignored me completely...... Maa called him... Sidharth where are going bacha? Mom i have to leave early aaj shoot hai na so.... He said. But its first day after your marriage you have to wait for today atleast because i called pandit ji for some rituals. Wo bas aa hii rahe hai.. chalo pooja karni hai tum dono ko .... Mom please don't indulge me in this nonsense.... He said. Mind your language sidharth.... Tu kabse aisi baate karne lag gaya? Maa asked. Jabse isko meri biwi diya tabse... Aur yeh yahan kyu hai mom? Tumhe kya bola tha Shehnaaz maine? He said in anger.
Sidharth stop this behaviour aur meri kasam tune kuch aur bola to. Chal pandit g aa gaye hai maa ordered. Aur shehnaaz bacha chal tera uske sath pooja mein bethna zaruri hai. Shehnaaz walked behind maa but sidharth was still there fumming in anger. Sidharth tujhe suna nahi what i said? Then, pandit ji came and start the pooja. I and sidharth sat together and they performed the rituals. Then, suddenly pandit g noticed something and said .... Bitiya nayi nayi shadi hui hai aur maang sooni hai.. aise maang ko soona nahi rakhte. Ye lo sindoor aur bharo maang mein... Pandit ji said and gave her small box. I looked towards sidharth but he turned his face.
I was about to fill sindoor in maang but again pandit ji stopped me. Ruko bitiya sidharth beta aap bharo bitiya ki maang mein sindoor. Yeh apka kartayav hai. Jaisi apki patni ka kartayav apki aur apke parivar ki khushio ko banaye rakhna hai vaise hi apko bhi unki har zimevari uthani hai. Sidharth glared at pandit g and was about to refused this .... I saw maa held his arm and indicates him to do what pandit ji said. Sidharth took sindoor in fingers and filled in my partition and left the pooja suddenly.
One month had passed and he was ignoring me from the first day which made my heart cry with bleeding tears. It's been a month that i saw sidharth. He left for his shoot after the pooja. He is in goa for his new web series. At evening i gave tea to maa. Have you talked with Sidharth? Maa said sipping her tea.
That's when my heartbeat escaped and i stopped playing with my bangles.
No, he still busy in his shoot maa. But i talked with mehul he said sidharth ka almost sara series shoot ho chuka hai. So he will be returning soon. I replied.
I entered to our room and changed into comfortable clothes. I took out my jewellery and put them on the dresser. But i always wear mangsutra and never took out, as was custom.
Sidharth's POV
I felt good coming home after a long time. The whole month was so hectic that i didn't get time to talk to my family. Mom must be angry with me. That why i wrapped everything soon and returned. They don't know about my arrival. It's 5 in the morning, i don't want to disturb anyone. When i entered to my house, it was died quiet . I felt very tired because of long flight. I just want to have a long bath and good sleep.
I opened the door of my room and threw the jacket on the couch lazily and laid down on the bed for some time, without changing. My head was hurting due to sleepless nights.
God i need strong coffee.
I was going to drift off when i heard something. It was the sound of running water. I got up and angrily walked inside the washroom. Then i saw Shehnaaz was in the washroom. I saw her back actually she was taking shower. I freezed there when i saw her. Then suddenly she turned and shocked to see me inside the washroom. She grabbed the towel and wrapped around her. I felt so embraced. I said sorry without looking at her and walked out of the washroom.
Oh god it was so embarassing. I was fighting with my inner self. Then suddenly knob clicked and shehnaaz came outside. She was walked inside the closest when i held her wrist and she bumped into me. I am sorry for this. I had no idea that you were in the washroom.... I said.
My eyes locked with her eyes. Her tiny hands were on my chest, grabbing hard for support. She was breathing heavily. I could hear her heartbeat. Then, reality hit me that she was just in towel.
What the hell...
I jerked her away ....
What are you still doing here? I asked angrily and grabbed her face.
Her eyes turned glassy. Please sidha......rth its hurting.... She pleaded and trying to come out of my hold. I watched her struggle and closed my eyes to control my anger. I left her and dashed out of the room.
Ufff......
Itna gussa shukla g.....
What do you think about sidharth's outburst and Shehnaaz's emotions?
