The Lonely Girl

Chapter 27: reflection

Derek p.o.v

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

How did it come to this? 

I just stood there, flabbergasted. I saw the little girl I took in, I cared so much for, running away from me. I could not believe it was actually happening. 

I couldn't move from shock. 

It was Olivia that brought me back to reality. She held my hand and said everything was going to be alright and that I should sit down. 

"No. It's not alright." I finally said. 

Right then it all clicked to me. It was my greed and selfish actions that drove Rose away. And the worst thing of it all was that she had no one, absolutely no one, to fall back to. 

I felt horrible. I wanted to have it all. I wanted a girlfriend and to be a Daddy. I was greedy. A greedy bastard. 

All my past actions and interactions with Rose flashed through my mind and it was only now that I noticed my wrongdoings. The way I treated Rose was incredibly toxic. I only had eyes for Olivia that I couldn't even see and reflected on my bad behavior towards Rose. 

The past couple of weeks I had pushed Rose away, not showed her any affection, and there wasn't any aftercare after I gave her punishments. Punishments that weren't even justifiable. 

When the shock left my body I felt myself moving forward, running outside after my little girl. When I was finally at the end of the driveway, out of breath, I could not see her. 

Shit. 

Where was she? 

I did not want her to end up in the streets again. She had no idea where exactly I lived or Ellis and Nathan for that matter. Where was she going to go? 

Anxiety was kicking in. I grabbed my hair in frustration. 

If something happened to her I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, ever. I was responsible for this mess. I had to fix this. 

But how? 

I ran back to the house in the hopes I would come up with some type of plan for finding Rose. 

I stormed into the house in a frantic mode to find my phone. Where the hell was my phone now I need it the most? I always have it on me. 

"Babe, what are you doing?" I heard Olivia from afar. 

I didn't respond as I lifted every paper from my desk, finding my phone was more important. I walked out of my office and made my way to the bedroom. 

"Derek, what are you doing?" Olivia asked, now more sternly. 

I stopped for a second and sighed. "I am looking for my phone." 

"Oh, I think I saw it on the coffee table in the living room." I immediately turned on my heel and walked downstairs. As I did I brushed Olivia's shoulder. 

She tried to grab my wrist and stop me, but I shrugged her hand off. 

"Honey, what is going on? Why are you like this?" I ignored her. I need to get my hands on my phone first. 

I was finally downstairs and saw indeed my phone on the coffee table. 

"Derek, she is going to be fine. She is just throwing a fit. Rose will be back. Relax, please honey." I shook my head at her words. Olivia might have been Rose her teacher but she clearly did not know a thing about her. 

I searched first for Nathan's number. I dialed and waited for him to pick up. Once again Olivia said I had to calm down. It was irritating me. 

I put up my hand and said, "You don't know her. She doesn't know the way back. Now, shut up!" I whispered yelled.