┊ ➶ ｡˚ GLITTER TIMES °
❝ is this entertainment? ❞
In which my brainrot brings me
here, writing reader-insert band
imagines/oneshots. Enjoy I guess!
( 02/17/22 - n/a )
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IN WHICH ━━ repressed feelings resurface when he catches a familiar face at one of his shows
STORY CONTAINS ━━ gender-neutral!reader, light swearing, that's it i guess? also ends on a cliffhanger lmao
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It was often hard to focus on a singular thing while performing onstage, if not impossible.
There was always too much going on but also, never not enough. The lights are too much but also not bright enough, the crowd is screaming but they could be louder, the stage was grand and open for him and his band mates to occupy and yet, Awsten found himself standing shellshocked in the centre of the stage. He couldn't make out what anyone was saying, if they were even trying to talk to him, as his eyes stayed focused on the familiar face of someone he once gave his heart to standing amidst the crowd of people who had come out to see him. And they were there.
He didn't know how long he had been standing there staring but he guessed it was long enough for Geoff to harshly push his shoulder to catch his attention.
"Awsten!"
It felt like he was being woken up from a dream with the way reality seemed to crash onto him like a wave.
"You alright?" Geoff asked quietly, angling his body in a way that blocked Awsten from the crowd. Awsten only mutely nodded, suddenly wanting to end this set quicker than usual so he could finally sort out his thoughts in peace.
"Yeah, yeah let's continue."
The rest of the show went by like a blur. A couple of more songs and a few breaks in between to talk to the crowd—where he made the conscious effort to avoid that side of it—and before he knew it, the set was finished and he was rushing backstage to lock himself in his dressing room before his friends could say anything.
They were here.
He saw them.
They had come out to see him.
And he saw them.
Awsten slumped into the chair as he brought his hands up to rub his face. There was a strange mix of happiness and sadness bubbling in his chest as he replayed that moment he noticed them in the crowd. It was odd.
They were on the far left side of the crowd, standing towards the back where stage performers often ignored but somehow, he had managed to see them. And they noticed him.
He could still recall the exact feeling of his heart dropping into his stomach when they shot him a warm smile. The way it felt like time had stopped and all that seemed to exist in that room was the two of them. The way he could feel the heat rushing up his neck towards his cheeks. He could still remember it all, but what really made him freeze was the sudden rush of memories flooding his mind as all the feelings he was positive he had diminished seemed to ignite itself again.
It had been years since they've even seen each-other despite agreeing that they'd remain friends after they break up. Neither made an effort to reach out aside from the annual 'happy birthday' message which was then followed by a 'thank you' before they finally stopped. Deep down he knew it was because he had changed his number and failed to let them know but it was for the better, right?
The longer he held onto the threads of what they once were then the longer he'd be staying up at night wishing he wasn't alone. He didn't want to still be hung up on someone who had said they didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment.
It wasn't fair that in the end, all his efforts ended up being for nothing. It wasn't fair that he still felt something for them just like before.
"Awsten? We're leaving now." Came Lucas' voice from the other side of the door. Awsten sighed, taking a moment to enjoy the loneliness inside his dressing room before getting up from his seat and heading towards the door.
All he could do now was hope they weren't waiting outside for him when they left the venue—and as if his prayers had been heard, they weren't. He was able to make it back to the bus without seeing their face in the crowd of people waiting outside, though the memory of them seemed to be permanently seared into his mind with the way he could visibly remember them.
Awsten didn't say much for the remainder of the night. As the bus hit the road and everyone else sat in the living quarters to relax, Awsten excused himself to bed early where the earlier memories replayed in his mind as his fingers temptingly hovered over a contact on his phone he had never used but always added whenever he switched his number.
Was this even a good idea?
What if it actually wasn't them and he just mistook a stranger for them?
He wanted to find a reason to not click on their contact but he knew deep down he could never not notice them. Whether it be from across a vacant lot or in the crowd of thousands, it was nearly impossible to not notice them no matter how hard you tried. There was just something about them, something that attracted him to them in the first place, that seemed to make them stand out.
Fuck it.
By morning he'd be in the next state anyways, and what damage could a simple text even do?
Typing in a message along the lines of 'I think I saw you at our show earlier, why didn't you tell me?', he gave no time to await a response before turning off his phone and rolling onto his other side where he stared at the wall before sleep began to pull him into its world.
It was sleep that prevented him from noticing his phone going off when he received a text that read 'I was there, just wanted to see you. Glad to see you've gone this far, I always knew you'd make it.' but Awsten wouldn't know until morning came.
