In a mood for chaos

Broken

Toni's POV

Miserable morning. It's been a while since I've woken up feeling happy...But I remember what a happy morning feels like.

It would start off with her. Doesn't matter in which way. Whether she woke me up to snuggle me or to fuck me. Sometimes she would even wake me up to tell me she's bored while I'm asleep, but then later she would tell me that I must have dreamt, and that she would never say such a lame thing.

Coffee tastes different when she's not making it for me. Her coffees were disgusting, but I insisted on drinking her coffee only. This one tastes delicious, I made it, but it's just different. It's also salty because of my tears. 

Mom's worried about me.
"Are you sure she cheated on you baby?" My mom asked me softly.
"I don't know mom...but I just know it's something that would destroy me."
She squeezed my shoulder softly.
"I'll give you some privacy, breakfast is ready."

Watching her leave my room made me cry. I never knew this would hurt so much. This hurt much more than anything else she's done to me. A slap feels so good if you compare it to this feeling. Every harsh word, every ignoring, every gaslighting, beating...nothing could compare to this.

I look up at the sky. It's bright, not a cloud in sight. I smirk slightly, Cheryl's probably gonna wake up so late, she won't be able to enjoy such a nice weather. I broke down in tears again...

Cheryl's POV

This is a third day in a row that I missed sleep. It's early in the morning and I'm on my terrace, drinking whiskey. I look up in the sky.

This is what Toni meant when she told me that I'm missing the most beautiful part of the day. World looks so much different.

But there's no purpose. I'm used to being woken up at noon, and shouted at for sleeping so long. By Toni.

I used to be so triggered by that. And then I would wake up grumpy. But today there was no one to make me grumpy, nor someone to put me to sleep.

There is no one to snatch alcohol from my hands and throw it in the trash, not having any idea how expensive it is. But I never told her. I would just smile while looking at her little hips swaying away from me and coming back, to lecture me. 

I had everything and I was so close to quitting all the bad habits.

But someone decided to mess with me that night. And when I figure out what got in my system, I'll kill a person that was so brave to destroy my life just to have me.

Blood tests don't lie.

It won't solve my problem, but at least I'll get my revenge. I'll go back to drugs and it will fix everything. I'll forget about her. I know I'll never be that happy again tho. Nothing can compare to her small hands cupping my cheeks, and her smell, and our wild sex, and the way she understood me so well.

She just left without a word. She didn't even wait till I woke up. Her pillow was soaked with tears, but I still hug that pillow before sleep, it makes me feel like she's there with me.

Even though she will never be again...