What Happened to Romance?

Cigarettes and Broken Hearts

Cigarettes and Broken Hearts - 04/12/15

I hate the smell of cigarette smoke. 

To be completely honest, I don’t even know why people smoke. No offense, but do they think it will make them look rebellious or cool? Do they spend money on killing sticks? And also, by buying them, they pay a tobacco company to get cancer. Nevertheless, it’s one hell of a turn-off.

But what bothers me most is that the girl I love is beside me, and she’s smoking. 

Hypocritical? I know.

“I will forever wonder why smoking is your hobby,” I coughed afterwards because a layer of cigarette smoke fogged my face.

Summer sent me a mocking look. “You’re no saint either, Evan.”She put the death stick in between her lips and proceeded into staring at the night sky. It was 1 in the morning, and we’re lying down on Josh’s roof, avoiding the party that was happening inside the house. I wasn’t even supposed to be here, but Summer thought she owed me.

“Evan?”

“Hmm?” I responded, turning to look at her.

“Do you believe that all of us have soul mates?”

I was taken back. “Uh, I guess…?”

“Do you believe that you’re meant to be with someone even though they love someone else?”

I didn’t even bother to answer her. I just stared at her, intently, as if I was scrutinizing an unknown gem, completely fascinated. 

Do you ever feel as if you’ve always wanted is already right in front of you but when you try to get near it – to catch feelings that you shouldn’t even have for it – you just hurt yourself? And even though you’ve suffered from incredible pain, you still want to get closer?

That was the way I felt about Summer.

She was like the sun – never mind her name, I was not intending a pun – she’s so beautiful; she can radiate positivity and goodness but eventually, she will leave you in the darkness, but she will come back. She always has, and always will.

“Evan,” she said, her voice snapping me out of my trance. “You’re in outer space again… Did you hear my question?”

Instead of answering her, I asked her a question of my own. “Why do we love the people we can’t have?”

A smile tugged on Summer’s lips. It wasn’t a happy smile, though. It was a sad smile, as if she had the same depressing question.

“Do you want a logical answer, or some idea of my own?”

I grinned. “Yours, of course.”

She exhaled and closed her eyes. “We love the ones we can’t have because Cupid is a stupid little bee-yotch with a stupid little diaper and some stupid little wings who has bad eyesight because he can’t shoot the ones we love to love us just how hard we love them.”

She sent me a blank look and I laughed. “I should’ve known you would say something like that.”

Summer joined in the laughter, too. “What can I say, my mind is filled of glitter and unicorn puke.”

We laughed some more before we fell into a comforting silence, staring again into the dazzling night sky.

“Seriously though,” Summer broke the silence moments later. “Love is full of tragedy and sadness and uncertainty. Somehow, it seems like messing up people is its favorite hobby.”

I sent her a sad look. “We shouldn’t be afraid to love.”

“I didn’t say that,” she chuckled. “It’s just that, you can be whatever a person wants and you can still have your heart broken.”

I can be what you want.

But there’s always someone better.

“Like, I really wanna be with Todd but Todd’s crazy about Lindsay but then Lindsay is crazy over you but since she doesn’t want to be lonely, she takes Todd into her wing, and Todd, being the love-sick puppy that he is, can’t see that Lindsay is using him.”

See? Earlier she said you can be what a person wants but still get your heart broken.

She was referring to herself earlier, I think, but she didn’t know that I feel her sadness, but I’m sad because of her.

“Maybe we are all take-for-granted in our own ways,” I said, emotionless.

“Totally,” Summer nodded. “You need to like someone, though, Evan. You haven’t had a single girlfriend, and as your friend, promise me that you’ll take a liking to someone, okay?”

Summer, I sort of hate you right now because you’re an oblivious smoker, but despite all of that, I do take a liking – even a loving – on someone, and it’s you.

“I will,” I whispered.

And I was sure it was nothing but a lie.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Hooray for third update! 

Bad news: I'll just update one story for today :( SORRY! I was supposed to upload two stories everytime I update (which is Sunday) but it was a busy week for me and I only managed to write one :( Don't worry though, I'll upload three stories next week! I promise!

Vote, comment and fan! :)