9:41 PM
It's not fair that you get to move on so easily
Like nothing happened at all
You learned nothing from your mistakes and move on being happy and WHOLE
Not completely whole but whole as in the same way you were when you arrived
I try to stay strong but still have my weak points
Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing.. if I'm DOING the right thing
I'm still grieving and you don't have that
You have the privilege of being FINE after all the bullshit
I guess you could say your karma is still having to wake up and face the same demons as before and even when you're over them you'll have new ones b/c of what took place
... it just hasn't caught up to you yet
But here I am NOW yearning for something I cannot have b/c I'm not as over the situation as I thought
I'm still miserable, I'm still unhappy, I'm still hurting
Idk how to fix it .. I thought I DID fix it
I AM better than you left me but I'm still not WHOLE
Idk how to fix it and the answer is NOT another person
You canNOT fix YOURSELF w/ someone else
That'll only make you worse and pass your issues to the next
We all have our own individual journeys so whatever happens is for something
I'm angry b/c Ik what we could have had
I'm angry b/c everyone's comments and support could have been for SOMETHING
I'm ANGRY b/c I know EXACTLY what could have been!
And I'm angry b/c you wouldn't FUCKING allow it
I put my happiness in you because I saw a future w/ you
I put my heart in your hands.
I thought you'd care for it, honor it, an protect it just like I was yours
And you did the opposite I thought it would be protected w/ you when all along she needed protection form you
I'm mad because I KNEW
I'm mad because she begged and pleaded not to go with you, NOT to be in your arms and I let her go anyway
Now I'm scared of everything
I can't move on to anything GOOD
I think everyone is out to hurt and damage me just like you did
It's very hard trying to move on from trauma
YOU ARE READING
Words (Where I leave my feelings)
RandomThese are my journal entries from long ago. These are entries my Angels had specifically told me that others needed to see, so I will share them now. Hoping that you can find someone who understands you. Hoping that you can find someone who knows ex...
