Abandoned Soul (Complete)

who would love someone like me

Sang

I have been working at ivanov industries for two months now and couldn't be happier with what I am doing. I have always struggled to figure out what I have wanted to do with my life,but it seems volto knew me better than I knew myself sometimes,atleast he steered me in some kind of direction. As I head back to my office from lunch Nickolai has called me into the office.

As I knock and go in, I can't help but wonder what he needs,did I do something wrong. He tells me to take a seat and then after a moment starts telling me about the family, I told him, sorry sir I don't have any family that I am aware of. I tell him that my father and stepmother weren't exactly kind to me growing up leaving out the abuse and neglect. I tell him about Marie and that she didn't exactly like me as well. Then I tell him about the nine boys that had saved me from my childhood home, I do open up and tell him how I was in a relationship with all nine who were like brothers to each other. I waited for the disgust to appear but he only asked what happened. I told him I was getting help for myself and wanted to keep it a secret to surprise them,but hey apparently thought I was cheating on them and in turn,found out they had found another and did the cheating. So what was supposed to be my choose family turned out I was not good enough for them and they never truly trusted me. I told him about doc.robertsnand how I thought of him as a father figure at the time.

He seemed very angry at what I told him and wondered why. But I did tell him about lily and Ben and told him if it wasn't for those two my life might have took a turn to a complete downward spiral. Hell I didn't care and told him about the academy.

With talking to Nickolai about some of my past. It feels like a weight has been lifted and the darkness a little brighter. Will I ever get out of the darkness and see the light again,will my heart thaw out a little,I guess in all do time it might. But I can't help but think maybe I'm just unloveable. That nobody wants me and I am meant to be completely alone.

Nickolai

After hearing Sang aka Anna talk about some of her past not going into details as she has not trusted me yet. I watch as her eyes brighten a little bit. I can only hope that time away from her past will help in her healing. At some point I will have her write letters to those she wants to reach out to to let them she's ok, and to make sure their is no way she can be found. I'll have them special delivery with no ties to Russia at all even if I have to send a plane to have mailed from the us,let them all think she is still in the country until she is truly ready to return or visit. But this poor girl has had two families and apparently no real love from both of them. But the two people she still feels comfortable with I will make sure they get some update about her and that she is ok.

But for her to feel unloved and unwanted,that is something we need to change and soon. Here eyes still looking dead and her heart icing over,it will not be an easy task to help her overcome. Yes we are ruthless as the mafia,but we can love those that are important to us. I think it's time to introduce her to her grandparents and the Russian bratva. Only then will she feel like she can truly heal. For she is and will not be unloved.

Meanwhile back in Charleston

Gabriel

Four months since we last saw trouble,four months since Luke disappeared. My own best friend even left,while he is still a member of this family,I can't understand why he never took to Haley like the rest of us. She is beautiful,but I can't help but hurt a little that we truly did cheat on Sang after all when we found out the truth from lily and uncle. I know some of the guys still think it's a ruse,but the amount of times that Sang and I spoke while getting her ready for the day, I can't help but feel guilty at the same time.  To think trouble cheating on us does seem far fetched for a girl if her nature. And how did not only ourselves but doc Roberts and the academy pretty much kick her to the curb. But when look left it felt like another piece of the family went missing. I know with time sang gone I will be able to fill in the hole in my heart,does that mean that I never truly loved trouble and that she was not the one for me or is it because of the guilt. I can only hope that Luke comes back to us and be with Haley like the rest of us.

Luke

The first time I met Haley,I was intrigued,but she didn't hold a candle to my cupcake. I'm not sure when the others fell for her,but me being me,something didn't feel right about her,like she was genuine,I only tagged along with my brothers because it's what they wanted even Gabe which honestly surprised me. He was head over heels in love with his trouble,but what changed his mind as quick as the others. After that day at the hospital, I have been absent more than anyone realizes,sure I show up to family time whether it's activities or dinners and meetings. But I haven't truly been around them anymore. If they want Haley then I'll go find myself a new family, sure I will miss my brothers but I can't stay where I'm not truly happy. I don't think I'll ever be happy with Sang in my life. We all moved into the sergeant jasper shortly after the dissappearence of sang so we could all be together,but within a month I pretty much went and lived with uncle,something nobody even realized because they are so involved with her that they didn't realize the emotions and absentee brother even North,which kind of hurts. Uncle has noticed something different about me,but has yet to ask. But how do you tell uncle that you want to join a new team because the ones that are supposed to be your family haven't even noticed your gone most of the time.