Right Person, Right Time

O2. Prerna

Horizon is my favorite word - the very one whose existence is a myth, I am aware, yes. But it still is my favorite word, because for years I have held onto it's beauty as hope.

Some place where earth does meet the sky.

Some place, some day - my heart will be full of love. I will wake up knowing I am loved and I will go to sleep aware that I live in a love bubble. No conditions attached, no questions asked.

That has always been my fantasy and if you did get it right, then you will understand why I equated that with Horizon - I believed both existed only in theory for a long time.

But today, as I walked around the palace, inhaling the familiar aroma of coffee from the mug I was holding, sighing in delight and aware of the small smile framing my face - I also felt the tiny bubbles of relief filling my heart.

Gentle breeze continued to hit me as I walked around, taking in the lush green grass on either sides of the palace.

Udaipur was a beautiful city, more than I thought it would be if I was being honest. This particular palace was stunning though- I couldn't help but admire the beauty as I took a walk around the premises. Architectural heritage of our country and the surrounding green lawns - a definite sight to behold. This was probably the most expensive hotel/palace in whole of Udaipur but I didn't expect any less from my in laws and my parents - money and status had always mattered too much to them, but by now, I liked to think that I had made my peace with that as well.

My gaze flickered to my smart watch - it was still 6:30 am in the morning and I had covered almost 3000 steps already. If my mother saw me right now, she would scold me for not behaving enough. I know I should probably be catching up on my beauty sleep or something, but I couldn't. I wanted to blame it on the change of place, but I knew it was more about the chaos in my mind that had robbed me of sleep for quite some months now.

Another sigh and my shoulders dropped as I circled around, spotting a board - I could easily read it even through the distance.

Welcoming you all with grace and pleasure to attend the wedding of the year - Prerna Weds Ansh

Those tiny bubbles I was talking about earlier? They jumped inside my chest and I was hyper aware of them in that moment.

My fantasy, my horizon was too near.

I was getting married.

I was actually freaking getting married.

The foreign feelings made me giddy and before I knew I was grinning ear to ear. I knew this was selfish of me, inhumane maybe - Oh, how I wish my best friend was here to hold me through these unasked breakdowns - but the truth was my only peace among whatever was happening, however it was happening was the knowledge that I was getting married to the man I loved and the man who loved me back just as much.

I would really be loved for the rest of my life - at least I hoped I would- and I wouldn't wake up feeling that empty dread that had been my constant companion for years ever again.

His presence always calmed me, it made me feel safe and secure, even before we were officially together. There always had been something about the way Ansh looked at me - he saw right through me but never used my weakness against me, never made me feel less for them.

If you ever asked someone to describe me - Advocate Prerna Mishra - in three words, I am pretty sure practical/logical/factual would make it to top five of the most used adjectives. And I don't and I can't deny that. I am very practical - sometimes to a fault, but I am a lawyer, my profession demands me to know how to keep my emotions aside and look at a situation with a head strong but calm approach, which I always do.