Broken endings

part 3 , same tws

"im still screaming that i need you." - Bea miller Burning bridges. 

i wouldn't be lying if the constant screaming and shouting hadn't started before Marcus walked in on my mom. no.. it's been like this before that.  Marcus.. honestly shouldn't get a second chance and i never say that, hell.   it all began after my siblings where born, maybe before -if it was i barely knew as it was being hiden from me as i haven't been in a good mental state. good job mama, you did well. never guessed why you disaperred just expected it at this point. expected to be wisked off to another "supervisor" as no one gives me much privacy and honestly i don't blame them.. i mean would you if you knew what i had tried to do? can't even admit that to any of my siblings still. i made a promise- and i'll keep it till my last breath. Normally the place  is safe, for the most part. ... "Felt like i was taking care of a fucking child half the time, Athena warned me about this but u didn't expect this much slidding."... "your 19, why do you act so fucking childish. not to mention the misspellings, grammar corrections you need. i can't deal with this shit, you can't even have sex correctly."  honestly never thought i'd see that side of you, but i mean i understand it- i shouldn't act this way and i'm aware of that, my typing it got better didn't you see?! 

another few times i guess.. why i don't exactly feel safe in place alone- with "marcus" he's come into the place  before, i was small i think  i probably shouldn't have been place that day but sam was watching and had stepped out for a solid minute to grab something. "papa" came in drunk out of his mind, slurring his words. "Your a god damn bitch, " or something like that what he said a among those lines- not sure i just remember feeling scared, this isn't the first time this has happened, nore will it be the last i think. I've seen him throw things. i've seen him hit mama and i wasn't suppose to see that, kell, bry, i we ween't but we did. saw shit, been hit- been pushed, hell you both where drunk out of your minds! i'm not one to give up on people and hell i won't ever be that.. but it's just scary to be in the same room as someone who treats you in the same physical way someone else does- that involves being hit and slapped. but he's not thinking clearly? so maybe he doesn't mean half the things he says? how he wishes he never met mama and how he wishes they never  married and how mama agreed? maybe but now it's just scary, i guess- i don't like being alone and i don't like feeling like this. i' know i should prodcast this on to a social media platform, but it's how i'm getting my feelings out and how i can remember

end of part 3.