The Beauty Queen

The Beauty Queen - Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I flushed, staring at myself in the mirror. My insecurities had already begun flooding my brain.

Look at that fat pouch. I look like a mother kangaroo. And my thighs... they're giant. Why was I even doing this again?

Oh, right. My family needs the money.

Speaking of my family, I haven't seen them since the second day after we moved here. I've only seen Linda a day longer than my parents, but considering I've been here about two weeks now, I'm a little homesick. Well, family sick, in this case.

So I'm failing at staying in the know with my family, since Linda isn't allowed to visit me and update me, and since we don't have enough money for a half-decent phone plan or a less-than-decent phone.

I stared at the hot pink, tie-on, low-cut bikini I was wearing. It left almost nothing to the imagination. And in my case, I don't think it's a good thing.

I've never been so insecure in my life. What was wrong with me? I've worn short shorts before. It's not like I haven't shown off my larger-than-normal thighs. I should be at least somewhat comfortable.

But my mind flickered to something. Or someone, rather. A certain someone that would be sitting in the audience when I walked onstage.

That must be it. I must be getting so insecure because of Nate.

Now I really do hate to admit, but I must actually care about him. I'm not sure in what way exactly, but it's obvious I can't say "not that I care" anymore.

I groaned in frustration and pulled up the bikini top. Did I mention it was strapless?

Well, yeah. It's strapless.

And not only am I worried about the top slipping down, but my delightful tan lines are nicely exposed. I've never worn a strapless thing in my life. My farmer's tan is extremely noticeable due to that, and back in Kansas, I was always running around outside. I couldn't really find anything better to do.

I hugged my stomach, trying to cover up as much as possible. Then I arranged my hair so it was strategically covering my tan lines. There. I looked... slightly better.

I peered out behind the curtain. I saw that Penelope was lining all the girls up. I easily spotted Katy at the end of the line. She was looking around for me, her head turning this way and that. She looked a little uncomfortable, the way she kept slouching over. I hate admitting it, but it made me feel a little better that Katy is almost as insecure as me.

I looked at the other contestants. Of course, they all looked comfortable and confident in their swimsuits. Their backs were slightly arched backwards, and I knew they were purposely showing off their cleavage. But that wasn't the end of it, because they were all smiling and wiggling their fingers in the most flirty way possible.

That's when I remembered Nate was in the crowd.

I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes. I glanced again in the mirror, trying to remember the last time I looked in the mirror for so long. I'm pretty sure it was when I had broken my nose in sixth grade.

I finally walked onstage, joining the line of girls. I was still holding my tummy, and my hair was still in place. I glanced anxiously at Nate, and I swear I saw him do a double-take. I flushed.

"Katy, you may have been right," I whispered, leaning sideways. In spite of the way we were both uncomfortable, Katy flashed a small smirk.

"About Nate?" she asked mischievously. I covered my burning face with my hand and nodded.

"Well he's admiring you," Katy giggled. Hearing that just made me blush a deeper shade of red, and I peered at him between my index and middle fingers. Sure enough, he was staring at me. But since he was so far off in the audience, I couldn't tell if he was scrutinizing me or not. Whether or not he was, I still felt embarassed.

I would've been perfectly fine with a more sensible swimsuit. Let's say... one that isn't strapless, one that doesn't expose half my butt, and one that would at least stay on correctly. The bikini top kept sliding and getting uneven, and every five seconds, I had to yank it up awkwardly.

"Danielle," Penelope's high-pitched voice sounding like ringing in my ears, "you're up first."

I dropped my hands from my face and gawked at her. Umm, excuse me?!

Obviously noticing my bewildered expression, Penelope glared at me. She nodded. "You decided to go last for the talent competition, so now it's your turn to go first."

My wide eyes drifted off to the side, and I met Nate's. He seemed to be enjoying how awkward and uncomfortable I was, the way there was a smirk on his face. I blushed, my arms still wrapped around my stomach. All of a sudden, Penelope swatted my arms away. I hissed, seeing that she left a red mark on my wrist.

"Don't do that. It makes you slouch," she snarled. I nodded gloomily.

As I walked towards center stage, I noticed that there was a catwalk added to the stage. It was definitely removable, since it wasn't here yesterday. I cringed as a cold gust of air rushed by me. It wasn't only the cold air that made me cringe, but also Nate's smug smile. And the fact that I had to strut down a catwalk.

"You have to flirt with the audience," Penelope said, making me whip around to stare at her, "meaning you have to wink, blow kisses, and act like there's a boy you like in the crowd."

I continued to stare. She had no idea how close that last part hit to home.

I can't help it. I have to admit it. I... like Nate.

I was obviously frozen on the spot, a little shocked with myself. I had actually admitted to myself my feelings for Nate. Not like it really matters, since he probably won't ever find out anyways. Thinking like that kind of depressed me.

"Go on," Penelope said, suddenly behind me. She gave me a hard shove, making me stumble on my high heels and onto the catwalk. I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing there was no turning back now.

I placed my hand on my hip, feeling extremely out-of-character. I walked to the end of the catwalk, trying to sway my hips like all the other girls did normally. Once I reached the edge, I was uncertain of what to do. I involuntarily glared down at Nate, who was looking so amused. I felt like punching him.

"C'mon," Nate said in a low voice that made me shiver, "flirt with the audience."

I flushed uncontrollably, and Penelope had started yelling orders at me. I'm so humiliated right now...

My insecurities once again hit me like a frying pan. My face heated up even more, and tears stung the corners of my eyes. You can do this, Danielle...

Then I remembered the one helpful word that Penelope has ever said: "Dignity."

I clenched my fists and bit my lip, forcing my mouth into a tight smile. I stuck my hip out and struck a pose, wiggling my fingers at Nate. He was still smirking, but there was no big reaction. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough.

I winked at him. He raised an eyebrow. Nope, nothing big. I leaned forwards slightly, and blew him a kiss.

That made his smirk drop right off his face, leaving his eyebrow raised. My forced smile fell as well.

Well fine. I was too awkward, too insecure, too uncomfortable to be doing this. Acting like this. Nate could be unsatisfied with me if he wanted to. I don't really care what he thinks of me...

But the worst part is, I do.