Just a little longer // Ryuryeong

Chapter 12: Still wanting you

2018...

Chaeyeon unnie had finally debuted in IZ*ONE, she moved out from our house and now spend her nights in a dorm with 11 other members.

I was so happy she made her dream, she waited for this for so long.

Instead of being in Ryujin's class I was now in a class with Yeji unnie and Yuna.

Lia unnie, Yuna and I were really close since all 3 of us take the subway back home and then there's Yeji unnie who lives in the dorm here and Ryujin who lives nearby.

Yeji unnie was still very close with Ryujin what bothered me a little but who am I to tell who she can be friends with.

It took me months of crying to get over Ryujin. It was not sadness, I mean in the beginning it was, it was anger, I wanted her to feel the same pain I had.

The only times I had to see Ryujin was during the monthly evaluations and sometimes in the hallways at school.

As Lia unnie, Yuna and I were practicing we were called into PD-nims office.

When we arrived we were met by Yeji unnie and Ryujin, this isn't what I think it's gonna be right??

We all sat down and waited nervously for PD-nim to start speaking.

"I called you guys here in today for a very special reason." I wasn't able to read his face and got more anxious by the second.

"We will be debuting a new girl group and we've chosen that the 5 of you would be the best candidates for it. The group will be called Itzy and you'll get information about the debut song in practice room 1. Any questions?"

Everyone's face lit up trying to hold back their excitement. When we left the room all of them jumped in excitement and started screaming while I just stood there, why? Why does god do me like that.

This was the moment I had been practicing for for years but at the time I couldn't feel any joy. I just kept quiet as we all walked to the first practice room.

We were there met with the choreographer who explained the song to us. It was called "dalla dalla" it had a beautiful meaning but I didn't want to celebrate too early.

It was a great song but what if people won't like it? We only had 4 months to prepare, what if we won't be able to pull it off?

After practicing with the choreographer for a while we stepped into the elevator to the floor where all the idols practiced.

"We hit the jackpot haven't we??" Yuna said excitedly. I just smiled and pet her head.

There were different floors for trainee's and idols and for the first time in 4 years I was allowed to go up there.

When we got to one of the practice rooms we all sat down and discussed things.

"We still need a leader though..." Ryujin sighed out.

"Wouldn't Chaerry be a good pick? She's been a trainee the longest." Yuna said pointing at me.

"I wouldn't fit to be a leader, I have a bad temper. Yeji unnie seems like the best candidate to me." It was sweet of Yuna to recommend me but I wouldn't be the right pick.

We all agreed Yeji unnie would be the best leader for the group before we started individual practice.

I was slightly anxious for debut since we would need to go on variety shows which meant I had to act like Ryujin and I are close.

How I wished Somi didn't leave the company, I'm a 100% sure she'd be a better fit for Itzy than Ryujin.

I hated all of this, I hated that she broke my heart and I hated it that I still wanted her.