At Your Service

2 Burns, A Spill, and A Dab

“Despite cooking with your own hands being a rarity, it’s still very important for butlers to have an understanding of the culinary arts.” Kaufmann tells the class as the students work at their stoves in the student kitchen. “Along with proper plating.”

“Your batter is burning.” Anathema snaps Aziraphale out of his focus on Kaufmann’s words, making him look down to discover that yes, his batter is indeed burning.

“Oh dear…” Aziraphale frets as he attempts to move the half cooked, half burnt batter off of the griddle, and onto a plate.

“The temperature on the griddle’s too hot.” he hears Crowley say behind him, which only serves to piss Aziraphale off, as he snaps back,

“I am more than capable of seeing that for myself!”

And of course, that’s right when Kaufmann comes over to praise Crowley, “Mr. Crowley, that looks impeccable.”

“My pleasure. I’m using a lemon herb butter.”

Behind him, Aziraphale hears Kaufmann take a deep inhale, “Oh, I can smell it already.”, right before he appears right next to the angel.

“Ah. Mr. Fell. What could you be possibly making for us today?”

Aziraphale tries his best to stay focused on fixing his dish as he replies, “I’m making a crepe.”

Kaufmann hums, “Hm. With a melted chocolate drizzle and powdered sugar, perhaps? Or even filled with fresh fruit?”

Aziraphale denies, “No, I’m afraid not. I was just attempting a crepe on the most basic level. I have an appreciation for fine dining, and crepes have been a longtime favorite of mine. I wouldn’t dream of attempting anything beyond the basics.”

If Kaufmann is unimpressed, he doesn’t show it, just says, “If you expect to excel as a butler, Mr. Fell, food preparation along with table management and keeping the household stocked for the chef, knowing the basics is essential.”

As Kaufmann then moves onto another student, Crowley walks over to Aziraphale to offer more advice,

“If you add some zucchini.” Here, the demon drops some sliced zucchini onto the batter. “And some squash and cheddar cheese, it’ll really help to cover up the burnt bits.”

Aziraphale doesn’t reply, only stares as Crowley walks away, before continuing to try and fix his crepe, even going so far as to do what the demon suggested.

“Is it true this isn’t your first butler school?” Aziraphale blurts out.

A chuckle, then, “What’s the matter? Curious to know what I’ve been up to?”

Aziraphale grunts as he scrapes off a particularly burnt part of the crepe sticking to the griddle, then asks, emphasizing, “Then what on Earth could you possibly be doing here?”

“I got in, same as you.” Is the reply. “I show up, I train, I get my certificate.”

Aziraphale rolls his eyes, “Hardly seems fair of you to steal a spot from someone else when you’re already quite well read. And I hope you understand that this is one of the most, if not the most, prestigious academies in the world.”

Now he turns around to face Crowley, “And I would think a place like this is beneath you.”

Crowley moves closer, “That’s because it is.”, then pushes Aziraphale aside as he says, “You’re ruining it. Having the vegetables more thinly sliced makes them easier to cook, even wrapped up in batter.”

Aziraphale crosses his arms, whispering angrily, “Did you even bother to try and do this the human way?”

But Crowley’s not even listening, as he turns to grab something behind him, then shows it to Aziraphale, “And if you add some salsa, it’ll give the crepe a real kick.”