Stuck in another world

Chapter 2

Author's note: this chapter will be written in a different style to make the time jumps hopefully less confusing

Emily spent the remainder of the flight convincing her that what she was doing is right. She was going to land in Denver solve this case and then be with Andrew. She was going to meet his daughter and agree to move there. She was going to make this city her new home and live this new life. This was the decision she was meant to make and if she was honest with herself the decision was made for her years ago.

Emily took a deep breath as she entered Rossi's house for what she knew would be the last time for a while. She was excited for a fresh start, in a city far far away from her soon to be married coworker. The thought also made her heart jump into her throat and tears well up in her eyes. She assumed things were over between them when JJ got pregnant, then thought maybe they would have another chance with what happened in Paris, but this wedding was another nail in the coffin of their relationship. It was her turn to move on.

As people file in she pulls each of her team members aside to give them her news, trying to focus her energy on being excited. She couldn't tell anyone the real reason why she was leaving, so she kept her reasoning brief and nonspecific. She spoke of grabbing onto a new life because she couldn't quite get ahold of her old one and she scolded herself when she teared up while saying it. She knew she would miss all of her friends at the BAU, and they would miss her, but that wasn't what was making her heart beat out of her chest. She felt like there was a string connecting her heart to JJ's and even discussing this move was fraying it beyond repair.

She couldn't bring herself to tell JJ. She couldn't drop that on her, not on her wedding night. Their eyes met as JJ walked down the aisle and she couldn't help but notice the semblance of a twinkle left in them, assigned just to her. That, more than anything, settled it. She couldn't tell her tonight. Not when she knew that one word from those lips, that she found her gaze had shifted to, would be enough to convince her to stay. She needed to leave. She needed to move on.

And she had. That's why she could come back from London. That's why she was going to land in Denver and see it as the home she was about to share with Andrew.

That all felt true and even right until she saw Andrew.

When her feet hit the ground in Denver she felt confident. She felt good about solving this case, she felt good about her future, and she felt good about leaving her past in the past. However, all of those good feelings came to an abrupt halt when she locked eyes with Andrew. She saw the same twinkle in his eyes that she saw in JJ's on her wedding night, the only difference was she didn't think she would ever return this one.

Emily began to feel like the world around her was spinning and that she would never be able to make it stop. She let the panic reside enough to smile as her colleagues greeted Mendoza and return his hug when he greeted her. She knew then her next move was that she needed to jump right into work. Her world wouldn't feel like it was moving nearly as fast if she dove into the mind of her unsub.

Andrew, understanding the importance and weight of her role, was happy to brief the team right away and waited until they walked away before trying to pull Emily aside. Her heart rate picked up again when he said he missed her and they needed to talk but she brought it back down by shifting the interaction back to the case and effectively avoiding that conversation for at least the next few days.

Her plan to avoid everything going on in her personal life was working swimmingly until Reid presented that their unsub may be seeking entry into an alternate reality. So much for diving into the mind of the unsub. She found herself having a passing thought that maybe if she just sacrificed a few dads, like their unsub (a couple fathers in particular coming to mind), she could enter a world where she was with JJ. This absolutely ridiculous thought was interrupted with other theories from her team. This unsub was starting to make sense to all of them, but especially to Emily.

When they found another body, this time with a witness to go along with it, it all clicked.

She could understand why someone would want to go back in time, live in a universe where they could have an opportunity to not make the biggest mistake of their life. On the ride back to the station, Emily couldn't help but consider the moment that may be hers.

"You should go for him...you two would make a cute couple" before it had all even left her lips she knew she made a mistake. How could she be telling the woman she is in love with to go for someone else?

She then watched a fed up JJ (with the hot and cold relationship she had created) walk away from her and into William LaMontagne's arms. What had she just done? Why couldn't she have just trusted that JJ would be patient with her? Why didn't she trust her when JJ said that she didn't want anyone else and that she would wait as long as it took for her to be ready? Why did she have to push her again? This time she knew she had pushed her too far from reach as she watched, from a perfect view, JJ reaching out and kissing Will.

Emily forced herself to shake this memory from her thoughts as they pulled up to the police station.