Secrets Are No Fun

Chapter 10

The next day started out really strange.

First, when I got on the bus, Sarah gave me the window seat. The window seat had always been her seat since the first grade. We never actually wrote our names on the seats, but it was an unspoken agreement between us that I never broke. Even though I wished I could look out the window during the bus ride instead of at the ugly black tape that was on the back of the seat in front of me.

Then, in school not one person mentioned the bet. Not even Donna or Jamie, who were freaking out about it the night before.

And if that didn’t seem weird enough, listen to what happened during lunch:  I was eating the toasted bagel with cheese and tomato that my mom packed me, when I realized that someone was staring at me. I was sitting at the end of the lunch table alone because Jamie had forgotten her lunch upstairs, so I thought that maybe it was because I was alone. Still, I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my neck.

It got even weirder. When I got up to throw out my empty brown paper lunch bag a girl came over to me and asked me if I was ok. Of course I was. Did I not look ok? I thought I looked pretty cute that day actually. Besides the usual blue skirt and white collared shirt that was according to our school’s dress code, I put a pretty pink clip in my hair in an attempt to tame my curls. And I thought they were actually tame.

            Then things became chaotic around me at the lunch table. One by one girls came over to me and told me that they were there for me and I could sleep over if I wanted to and I could copy their notes when I missed class. I always knew that I had a lot of friends, but I never spoke to that many girls during lunch in my life.

It was only after my friend Nikki said, “Is your mom feeling ok?” that I understood the situation: everyone knew that my mom was sick. Immediately the world crashed down around me.  

            “Wait…who told you?” I demanded.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she answered and walked away.

Word that my mother had breast cancer got around my entire grade fast. Everyone knew and I wanted to know who told them. But no one was going to let me in on the big secret, so I left.

I ran up to my classroom where I could be alone. I sat down at my desk and put my head on the cold tabletop. I didn’t start crying right away because for once I had nothing real to cry about. The truth was, there was nothing I could do now that everyone knew. The reason why I was so upset was because there was only one possible person who could have told everyone: Jamie. And the idea of her breaking our promise made me sad, nauseous and tired all at the same time. So I just and started at the multi-colored floor and thought about all the ways I wanted to punish Jamie.

Then I felt a hand on my back. My stomach did that weird flippy thing that told me I was afraid and then I looked up. It was Jamie.

            “Did you tell people about my mom, Jamie.” I asked her right away. I was trying not to burst into tears when I looked at her.

              “I promise I would never do that to you, Bex,” she knelt by me so she could look at my face. And I had to believe her. I needed her more than ever.

Still, it didn’t make sense how suddenly everyone knew about my mom. I only told one person. I might as well have screamed over a megaphone, “My mom has breast cancer. Pity me now!” But I didn’t, so then who did?

“Do you know who did?” I put my hand through my hair, ruining the perfect placement of my cute pink clip.

            “Forget that. Are you okay?” She sat down at her desk.

            “Not really.” I said shaking my head.

            She took a deep breath, “I know it’s hard, but this is better. You don’t want to be keeping such a big secret all to yourself. We can all help you.“

            “I know you’re right, Jamie. I just hated being stared at like I am different… And I was sitting alone. What took you so long?”

            “I couldn’t find my lunch and then I realized that I left it on the bus.” I laughed. She always left something on the bus.

            One time she went through an entire day of school without noticing that she had left her entire knapsack on the bus. After school, her mom had to call the bus companies to track down a hot pink Minnie Mouse knapsack.

“Can we stay up here until class starts?” I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes.

“Sure.” Jamie said as she took something out of her knapsack. She held up a deck of cards. “Want to play spit?” My eyes opened in shock.

“You’re joking?” She shook her head. “Just don’t make me IM Jordan if I lose.”

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