The Wax Pools

Chapter 6: The First Steps are the Hardest

I will dedicate a chapter to the first person to comment lmao

-------

I woke up alone, alone and hungover. 

I blinked in the early morning light, my head is pounding and my mouth is drier than a dessert. I get myself some water after untangling from the blankets. Last night is a little fuzzy in my head, but I remember telling them my decision and falling asleep nestled in between the both of them. The loneliness of my home is strangling. Why did I tell them no? I want, no, need to be with them. I start to shake and have to sit down on the floor as tears begin to flood my eyes. I miss them so much it hurts already and the thought of never seeing them again makes me cry harder. I want to go to them now, but it occurs to me I don't know where they're staying or if they're even still here. 

They said they were leaving as soon as I made my decision and I had done just that. I want to take it back, I take it back. My stomach rumbles, but I don't think I could stomach anything right now. A fresh wave of tears rolls down my face as I go to make tea and realize they didn't even say goodbye. My hands shake uncontrollably and my vision blurs. I take a few shaky breaths to try and calm myself.

That's when I see it, a sheet of paper tucked by the jar I keep my tea in, a sheet of paper that I don't remember putting there. I carefully pick the note up, as if it could crumble into dust in my grasp. 

Lillian, 

If you want to say goodbye, the cream-coloured house with the brown shingled roof at the end of Wisteria Lane. 

- Bear

(p.s. I'm sorry for how I acted last night)

I am frozen in place, my eyes going over the words over and over again. They aren't gone, yet. Fuck it, fuck everything I'm going. I can't survive even another moment more with the overwhelming loneliness that had choked me my whole life, the loneliness I had grown accustomed to until a few days ago. 

I dash around my loft, shoving clothing, toiletries, various herbs and packaged goods into a worn, pale green, duffle bag. I ditch my clothes that reek of booze and hurriedly put on a black sweater and worn jeans. I grab my cloak and the duffle and hurry down and out of my shop, my heart pounding in my chest, please don't be too late. Leaving a scribbled note in the window, saying, closed until further notice, thank you. 

I'm giving up my whole life for them and I don't care. I'm running as fast as I can with this heavy bag slung over my shoulder, panting and a stitch building in my side. I round a corner to Wisteria Lane, I can see them at the end of the road, loading up two tan dappled horses. They're not gone yet thank the gods. As I near them I ditch my bag on the ground to reach them faster. Bear sees me running and starts walking towards me as well, I reach out to him and he catches me, nearly falling over as I throw myself into his arms. I had started tearing up again as soon as I spotted them and now they were flowing down my face like a river. Bear held me like I was his only lifeline, burying his face in the crook of my neck. A second later I am enveloped from behind by who I can only assume is Adam. I'm crying into Bear's chest, but I'm with them, I'm home. 

"p-p-please take me with y-you, I-I change my mind" I choke out, looking up at Bear, I must look terrible right now, I've been crying all morning. He looks like he's been crying too, eyes puffy and red. 

"you never have to ask, princess" he murmurs before leaning down, he guided my jaw up to his and he kissed me, passionate and gently at the same time. Like he was desperate to have me yet holding himself back. 

When he pulled back Adam spun me around to face him. 

"We're never letting you go again, Lily" He whispered to me before kissing me just as passionately but with more hunger behind his actions. It feels a little strange to be one of my soulmates in front of the other one, but if they don't care then I don't either especially not right now. They both hugged me tight again before moving away. I whined at the loss of the fantastic feeling that was their warmth. Gods I really am touch starved, every time they touch me it feels like an electric current shoots through my body. My stomach interrupted our sweet moment, my appetite suddenly returning now that I'm by their sides. 

"Let's get you something to eat before we go, princess" Bear takes my hand and leads me to the house. He guides me to a small kitchen table while he busies himself at the counter. 

"have you ridden horses before?" he asks over his shoulder. 

"no"

"That's fine, we're only riding for two days to the next town over. From there we'll take a train the rest of the way to the capital," He places a plate in front of me with a sandwich and some apple slices. "you might get a bit sore from riding" He smirked. I just nodded as I ate. 

He sat in the chair across from me, watching Adam finish loading the horses as I ate. When I was finished he looked at me for a minute, just drinking me in. 

"I'm glad you changed your mind, unbelievably happy actually. But I want to know why you changed your mind" He stood, taking my plate to the kitchen. How do I answer that without sounding pathetic? 

"I've been alone my whole life... but I had never really felt lonely until I was missing you" I can feel him looking at me but I can't meet his gaze. 

The sound of the door creaking open breaks the silence. 

"Let's go" Adam calls from the doorway